The person you marry will determine how happy, successful and how long you live on earth. It could even determine your eternal destination
1. Make sure it is love and not infatuation: Love is a decision to care and be with somebody no matter what the other person does or does not do.
Love is a decision, not a feeling. “love does no wrong to one’s neighbor, love suffers long, love is kind, it believes all things, bears all things, hopes all things, endures all things, seeks not its own, thinks no evil.’’
Love is that thing that will remain, when other things are gone. Anytime you are in a relationship and the person is always insisting on his or her own, the person is not in love. Any man or woman that wants you to commit any sin is not in love.
Love has the ability to stand the test of time but infatuation does not. Infatuation has a short life span. Infatuation is the feeling that makes you want to explore each other’s body. If you marry because of infatuation, you will have a horrible marriage. Feelings are not constant; a lot of things can control your feelings. If you want to have a beautiful home without regrets, marry because you truly love the person.
2. Forget about Age Consciousness over your age, more often than not will make you marry the wrong person.
Any decision you make in haste could end you up with the wrong partner. see(Gen 16:2,4) and Sarai said unto Abram, behold now the Lord had restrained me from bearing, I pray thee, go in unto my maid; and Abram hearken to the voice of his Sarai and he went in unto Hagar, and she conceived: when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her eyes’’ Just after Sarah made this costly mistake, because she felt she was old, she conceived in the next chapter.
The decision she took is the reason for the religious unrest you see in the world today. Do not be in a hurry to make a decision because of age.
3. Be the right spouse: You must first be the right person to attract the right person.
Make sure are you the right spouse for the right person. This is very important; God is a faithful and righteous God. He will not bring a faithful son and give to an unprepared and unfaithful sister and vice-versa. Are you self-centered, argue a lot, and full of yourself?
Do you think marriage should come first or you should work on yourself? Are your eyes only fixed on your honeymoon, and the celebration? You may be deceiving yourself. That is not all that marriage entails, there are challenges that come with marriage. Work on yourself and be the right spouse.
4. Study how he or SHE treats others The way a person treats others around them is an indication as to how you will be treated sooner or later.
You can easily know a person by the way he or she treats people around them that have nothing to give back.
If you are dating a man that shouts at his driver because he is paying him, the moment you become his wife, he will soon do the same to you because it seems he shouts at everyone under his authority. Study how he or she treats their parents and siblings. You are likely to be treated the same way.
5. You must know the person’s temperament/character.
Temperament is the basic template with which you were created. God created people with certain tendencies, natural strengths and weaknesses. Temperament is God’s method of creating variety.
Some people are born with leadership or joviality tendencies. Others are born with a natural tendency to be withdrawn and introverted. If you know a person’s temperament from the onset, you will know if you can flow with the person or not.
There are people that like going out, if you are an indoor person, you must be ready to make the sacrifice for him or her when they demand your attention in that area. Character on the other hand is a person’s personality which is affected by the influences of his/her life.
So, character is the product of personality plus all external influences. Knowing a person’s temperament will help you to know the right person and to know the person’s strength that will help complement your weakness.
I make an example with my marriage, I complement my husband, I am a good negotiator. When my husband has an issue with negotiation, he calls me; he knows I’m a good negotiator. He is a live and let live kind of person. We complement each other.