According to the general convention these days, monogamy refers to having only one s*xual partner. However, monogamy implies a lot more than what the word is defined as. A believer of monogamy essentially expects his/her partner to live with him/her and cooperate with him/her to make a life (social monogamy). He/she also expects to be the only one that his/her partner has kids with (genetic monogamy). This in turn implies that the partner should not be sexually involved with anyone outside the relationship (s*xual monogamy).
Finally, a significant proportion of monogamists want to get married to their partner (marital monogamy). Now those may sound like a lot of restrictions or bondage. But most of the people who believe in monogamy expect all the above without ever voicing their expectation. It is like an unsaid code of conduct of monogamy.
Monogamy – Choice or Obligation?
As is the case with almost everything in the world, monogamy has its believers and critics, and monogamy has its polar opposite – polygamy. Many people believe in polygamy rather than monogamy. As a person, it is strictly their choice, and none of our business to poke our noses in their decision. But if you are someone who does not believe in monogamy but is still being pressurized or pushed into it by whatever moral or social or personal pressures, beware! This could be a recipe for disaster!
Whatever we choose to adopt in life, be it a dressing style or a lifestyle change, should not be a choice made under the burden of obligation. Most of the time in such cases, we eventually resort to our original preference, and then there is a huge chaos. If you want to live as a polygamist, choose to. But having chosen to become a monogamist, do not falter. Embrace the concept with complete understanding of what it implies and what your partner might expect from you.
Benefits of Monogamy
Taking a decision need not always be as easy as it seems to be, as I have tried to illustrate above. Moral, societal, familial obligations may not always be the right reasons to take a decision. So it is important to think a decision through before you actually implement. Here are some of the benefits of monogamy – I hope they help you take the right decision!
1. Monogamy means Security
Monogamy spells s-e-c-u-r-i-t-y in ways more than one. Monogamy spells emotional security. You always have someone you can count on in difficult times. However, this should not be one way! Both partners should stand by each other. Monogamy also spells social security. Economic security is also a part of monogamy, if worked out wisely by the involved partners.
2. Healthy Children
No child in the world deserves a broken home. Monogamy will make sure that your kids grow up in a secure and safe environment. The number of institutionalized children is alarmingly large, and oneof the reasons children need to be institutionalized is divorce. One of the major causes of divorce, in turn, is cheating in a relationship. It is a vicious circle, which can be avoided if one chooses to abide by monogamy
3. Emotional Stability
Monogamy holds the family together as an entity. A ‘family’ means the partners have each other, the kids have both – a father and a mother. The polygamous nature of one of the two partners might create friction between the partners, if their ideas, beliefs and boundaries about the concept do not all match. They may eventually lead to conflict. Even if the children are not directly involved in such conflicts, they do not escape burning their hands in the fire. The emotional consequences of these are great and deep. One cannot even imagine in how many ways divorce can affect children.
4. Less Risk of STDs
Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) can be greatly curbed by adhering to monogamy. Switching partners or keeping multiple partners can give rise to all kinds of STDs, many of which are fatal. Even with the use of protection such as condoms, STDs may still be passed on from an infected to an uninfected partner; the chances cannot be completely ignored.
Every human being has the undeniable need to be physically and emotionally attached. It forms an important factor of many/most relationships.
Monogamy lets you enjoy the feeling of attachment. Of course, this is healthy attachment I am talking about. The other types of attachment may not always be beneficial, but healthy attachment is indeed necessary.
It would be nice to have company when you are old and your hair is gray, isn’t it? Monogamy means you will not be alone when life is not as exciting or as busy as it was in your yesteryear. Old people often crave for company, more so if they are alone. Won’t you like to spend your old age in the company of someone you really love?
The aspect that speaks most strongly of monogamy is that it is the best and most secure kind of atmosphere for children to grow up in. It ensures balanced physical, mental and emotional development of children. Given the kind of fast and hectic lifestyles we all have these days, doesn’t that make you feel nice? It is really important that children be brought up in the right kind of atmosphere for them to grow up into responsible individuals of the society. Hope I have been able to convince you of the benefits of monogamy. Ultimately however, the choice is completely up to you.