There are a few pretty common communication habits that can damage your relationship in the long term; of course, that’s only if you allow them to do so. Communication is the key to every good relationship, so you should always pay attention to this aspect, even if you think that you are doing nothing wrong. These simple communication patterns can destroy your relationship; they can decrease your intimacy and your closeness. Just like George Bernard Shaw said, “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” If you lose your temper and things degenerate into a fight, then at least fight in a more constructive way and solve your problems instead of enhancing them. Here are a few very common communication habits that a lot of us tend to use on autopilot and that can really sabotage our relationship and our happiness in the long term:
1. Rolling Your Eyes When Your Partner Is Talking to You
I think that this is one of the most common communication habits that can damage your relationship. We all do it when we lose our temper, we just can’t help it. Well, if you want to improve your relationship and increase its satisfaction and your intimacy, then you should break this bad habit and replace it with something more constructive. This behavior will not offer you the solution to your problems; it will only make things worse, so try to avoid doing it as much as possible.
Stonewalling is basically the way in which you put a barrier (a stone wall) between you and your partner when you’re in the middle of a fight; you just get silent and refuse to engage in constructive dialogue or share your feelings. Avoiding conversation, even if you don’t agree with the topic, is not a way to solve your problems. Just talk things through and come up with feasible solutions. Realize how much this bad communication habit can damage your relationship and try to resist the impulse of leaving or not talking in the middle of a fight.
3. Autopilot Kisses
There’s nothing wrong with autopilot kisses when you don’t have the time to do it right, but make sure you don’t turn this into a habit! Just like Jarod Kintz said, “The mouth is made for communication, and nothing is more articulate than a kiss.” Make time to really kiss your partner because this way, you’re basically telling them that you’re still head over heels with them and that you are totally in love with them
4. Refusing to Apologize
When you do something wrong, just admit your mistake and apologize. This is the right way to do it. Don’t be too proud and don’t refuse to admit your mistakes! Just take responsibility for your actions, assume the consequences and work on solving your problems. Let go of your exaggerated ego and act in a more assertive way.
There’s no need to be sarcastic when you’re having a fight with your significant other. You should work on solving your problem, not on making it worse. Sarcasm is actually “a sharp, bitter, or cutting expression or remark; a bitter taunt,” and even though sometimes it can be funny, there are times when this behavior is inappropriate. For example, if you are sarcastic toward the one you love, you can really hurt their feelings even if this was not your intention in the first place.
Bickering means arguing about petty and trivial matters or more specifically about the things that really don’t count, that are insignificant. It doesn’t really matter who said what or when they said it, it’s more important to figure out where you are now and where you are heading. Focus on solving your problems, not on making them worse! Don’t blame only the other person for everything that goes wrong in your relationship! Take responsibility for your actions, especially when you make mistakes and see what you can do to make things better again.
7. Walking Out of The Room
This point is very similar with stonewalling but while a stonewaller refuses to talk during an argument, here I’m talking about those people who leave the room when their partner is talking, simply because they don’t like what they are hearing. This is not the best way to deal with different issues that may appear in any relationship. At least stay there and listen to what your significant other has to say; they might have a point and they might even be right. Just act like a mature and responsible person and learn how to communicate in a more efficient way in order to solve all the problems that may appear in your relationship.
Most people don’t even realize that they are doing these mistakes but they are actually sabotaging themselves by destroying the intimacy in their relationship. Are you guilty of having any of these bad communication habits?