Let’s be honest, there’s some room for growth here.
1. Practice your kissing. Don’t underestimate the power of a good kiss. A lot of pheromones get swapped during mouth-on-mouth action. Don’t do dead lips. Put some time and effort into your makeout skills.
2. Don’t ignore her boobs. Don’t just jackhammer her vagina with your fingers and assume that’s going to get her going. Women have lots of potential erogenous zones, and they vary from person to person. Grab her boobs, lick her nipples, and run your hand all around her body to see what works for her.
3. Get a little weird. Just because you can crank it out in 30 seconds while in missionary doesn’t mean you should. Switch things up, even if it’s subtle. You don’t have to get kinky, but maybe you should. Have fun out there.
4. GO DOWN ON HER. Are you kidding? A lot of women can’t have an orgasm through intercourse (it doesn’t stimulate the clitoris enough). Get down there and do your job, dude.
5. Compliment her. Alright, so it might be creepy to yell “you look pretty” in the middle of sex, but make her feel wanted. And that doesn’t mean rubbing your boner up against her while you’re cuddling. Make sure she knows how into her you are.
6. Relax about your penis. Most women don’t care as much about size as you think they do. They just want a penis that’s well-groomed and doesn’t smell. Which brings us to…
7. Shower and manscape. If women have to do it, so do we. Make sure they’re not digging through pube brambles just to get to your penis. Keep your junk well-maintained. Nothing ruins oral sex like getting a pube in your mouth.
8. Be vocal. Pay attention to when your woman is super into something, and conversely, it’s OK to be vocal when she’s doing something that’s really working for you.
9. Don’t be selfish. Let’s be honest, most men could come if a stiff enough breeze blew by. Make sure you’re giving taking care of her needs before you decide to come everywhere.
10. Don’t be so self-conscious. Again, have fun! Don’t get mad if she’s not screaming within 30 seconds of placing your penis inside her. Take all your stress and insecurity and let that shit go like you’re singing the breakout hit single from Disney’s Frozen.
11. Don’t compare yourself to other guys. Men and women both exaggerate their sexual conquests. Just do you, homie.
12. Don’t go after drunk women. This isn’t up for discussion.
13. Saying “no” to a blowjob does not make her a bitch. There are a lot of reasons she might not be in the mood. You don’t get to put your penis in her whenever you feel like it.
14. Always use protection. Maybe it does feel better without a condom. I don’t care.
15. Queefing is not farting. It’s air coming out of a vagina because sex pushed it up there. Don’t make a face. Grow up.