I recently read an article on YourTango.com about renewing passion after you have ‘fallen out of love.’ The article described the reasons behind a failed relationship and went on to explain the process of restoring love.
Falling out of love is a myth
Although the article brought up some good points, I disagree with this main point: you can fall out of love.
Is it possible to fall out of love?
I don’t believe it is. We can fall out of passion, sympathy, intimacy, but we can never fall out of love. Here’s why…
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
“love never fails.”
If love never fails, then we can safely assume that you cannot stop loving someone. When someone says they have ‘fallen out of love,’ there are two scenarios.
Either the love was not genuine, or the person has simply confused a lack of love with neglect.
Finding the real problem and solution
In both cases, you need to examine the health of the relationship. If the love isn’t genuine, it can be made authentic.
Scan over all of the flaws in your bond with your partner, and work on fixing them one by one.
It won’t be easy, and it won’t happen overnight. But by simply taking all the impurities out of your love, you can turn it into something that will last.
If neglect is the issue, either you or your parent is being deprived. All relationships have basic needs. If you neglect to communicate with your partner, your friendship with them will fall apart. You cannot have a truly intimate relationship without friendship. Friendship is the bridge to trust and love.
Restoring the love, passion, and your relationship
So, of you feel you have “fallen out of love” take a deeper look at what love, not passion, truly is. Have you ever really loved one another? If not, you have only fallen out of passion.
But if you have really loved, then focus on that. Eventually, even the passion can be renewed. When centered on true love, your relationship can thrive once more.