Start an honest conversation about your desires with these 7 simple questions.
To have a fulfilling s*x life, it’s essential to get honest about your most authentic desires. Once you know what you want out of your s*x life, you are much more likely to get it! And plus, exploring your s*xual fantasies can give you valuable insight into your true desires.
Communicating about your desires can be an incredibly intimate and romantic process, or it can set off fights and arguments. Much is in how you approach one another’s vulnerability and disclosures. You will discover parts of your lover you never knew were there. You will clear up assumptions and misconceptions. You’ll shatter patterns that don’t serve you any longer. Make no mistake, discussing and negotiating your desires together can change your relationship. In our experience, it is almost always for the better.
Before you start talking about s*x, agree to be as open-minded and nonjudgmental as possible. Approach with the spirit of curiosity! Getting to know what your lover wants is not a critique of your existing s*x life, but rather a map leading to even more pleasure and intimacy. These conversations are great while going on a walk, on a dinner date, or to pass the miles on a long road trip! Dare to talk about s*x whenever you have a private moment together!
If you are new to sharing your desires, start with simple questions:
What are your favorite kinds of full body touch? Do you like featherlight touch? Do you prefer deep massage?
Are there any parts of your body that you want touched more often?
What kinds of daily affection make you feel most loved?
Once you have successfully begun communicating about s*x and desires, you can start deepening your conversation into more intimate topics:
What is something you’ve always wanted to try and never done before?
Would you ever want to be blindfolded or tied up? Or do the tying?
What is something you did when you were younger but haven’t tried in a long time?
Is there a scene from a movie that really turns you on?
The most important thing is to establish open, friendly and relaxed conversation about s*x. The more you talk about s*x as a couple, the more freedom and honesty you’ll find when it comes to asking for what you want.
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