Sex is supposed to be the most ecstatic sensation on the planet. So you will be worried, not to mention frustrated as hell, if it does not feel amazing. Sometimes your discomfort can signal a medical condition (if an issue appears out of the blue, is persistent, or just doesn’t feel right to you, see your gynecologist, but often there’s a relatively simple trigger—and fix.
Here are ways to score the pleasure you deserve
If his anaconda feels like it is tearing you, the first thing to do is spend lots of time on foreplay. The more turned on you are, the more relaxed your muscles become—and your vagina expands when you are aroused. Since the most sensitive area is the rim of the vagina, stick to a rocking motion instead of thrusting.
Skinny Jeans aren’t your best friends
A rising number of women are reporting clitoris irritation, thanks to chafing from too-tight pants. Take a hiatus from your favorite skinnies, and soothe the area by applying a natural oil once or twice a day—try pure vitamin E, olive or coconut oil, or aquaphor.
You are a Slave to Your Computer
Sitting for extended periods’ cramps up your pelvic floor muscles, decreases blood flow to your V-zone, and inflame below-the-belt nerves…all of which contribute to discomfort during a sack sash later on. Every 20 minutes or so, make a point to walk around and stretch your muscles a little—like head to the bathroom or get a glass of water.
His ‘lawn’ is a bit rough
Hey, we appreciate a guy who grooms his groin, but those sharp little hairs can scratch the tender skin surrounding your vagina. To soften his scruff, treat him to a sexy massage using massage oil.
How you mow your ‘lawn’
Shaving and waxing can irritate some women (particularly if you have fair skin). Moisturize the inflamed area with natural oil, and avoid creams containing propylene glycol, a preservative that many people are sensitive to.
If you just have a couple of killer in grown, apply a warm compress followed by some bacitracin to help release them. If you have tiny pustules all over, it is best to let them heal on their own. In addition, in the future, opt for laser hair removal or trim your pubes with blunt-tip scissors instead.
The Sahara has got nothing on you
Lack of lubrication is one of the top reasons why women experience pain during sex, and there are several possibilities why you might not be wet down below. Estrogen the first few days after your period, triggering a decline in lubrication;
The Pill can dry you out because you are not experiencing the estrogen surges of a natural cycle; plus some women tend to have drier skin in general. Of course, the most common explanation is lack of arousal—so definitely do not skimp on the foreplay, and supplement with lube when need be.
That Huge Project Is Due Tomorrow
Your vajay muscles are extremely responsive to stress, and if you are worried about something, they will constrict…which leads to discomfort during intercourse.
Another pelvic floor tension trigger is working out—sports like spinning, ballet, and horseback riding encourage those muscles to clench. Spend some time relaxing before sex, to take your mind off everything: Take a walk, bake some cookies, or have your guy rub your feet. Also, try laying a warm washcloth over your pelvis.
Full bowels create a ton of pressure on your pelvic floor, and as a result, sex will not feel good. So eat plenty of vegetables and exercise regularly to keep things moving.
On the flip side, Montezuma’s revenge (traveler’s diarrhea) can also be an issue. Your back door is so close to your vagina that when it is irritated, your V-zone might feel sore by proxy. Avoid over-wiping (it can cause tiny cracks in your skin) and smooth a natural oil over the area.
The beer was on the house
Drinking alcohol or caffeine or eating a spicy meal can irritate your bladder, which could make you feel like you have to pee during sex. Make sure to use the bathroom before getting busy.
You are PMS-ing
There is swelling in your uterus right before your period, so you are much more sensitive to his movements, and thrusting can make your cervix cramp up.
In addition, some women experience heightened sensitivity in their ovaries post-ovulation. (If you feel pain on one side of your abdomen during sex, which might be why.) Stick to girl-on-top positions so that you can control the angle and depth of penetration, avoiding any Ouchy spots.
It’s cold outside and below
You know that cold, dry weather can make your hands and lips dry and flaky. Well, the same goes for south-of-the-border skin. Combined with hot showers and scratchy TP, it makes sense that you’d need extra moisture down there to prevent your vaginal tissue from getting dry and cracked—and rendering sex not-very-fun. Once or twice a day, apply some of the natural oils mentioned before to your V-zone and inner thighs.
You Ran 10 Miles Yesterday
Your vaginal muscles are connected to muscles in your hips, legs, and back—they are all part of the same network. Therefore, if you pull a hamstring, fall on your butt, or throw out your back, it can consequently create tension or nerve irritation in your pelvic floor. Once you fix the injury (via stretching, ice packs, heat, etc.), sex should feel better, too.
He’s hitting Your G-Spot
The G can bring you big-time bliss…but might also make you feel like you have to pee. You will not, trust us, but if it is uncomfortable, switch positions.
Because your V-zone has so many mucous membranes, allergic reactions might only show up down there. If you’re experiencing itchiness, swelling, or burning during sex, ask yourself whether you’ve eaten anything different lately, taken a new med or supplement, or used a product like a douche or scented tampon. If the symptoms do not calm down within a day or so, call your gynecologist to rule out a yeast infection.