[Confession] I Can’t Show Off My Boyfriend To The World! I Am Depressed!

images (23)The kind of love I have for him is the type that I can’t categorically express. I don’t even know if I understand what I feel for him. To me, he’s the only man that makes me happy and he coped well with my deficiencies.

I am this kind of a complicated lady. Several people find it very difficult to understand me. I’m not a bad person. It just looks to them like I complain a lot. But, why won’t I complain about things that don’t please me? Some even do complain that I can’t be pleased. Well, I don’t know about that, it’s just their perception about me and I’m not worried. Due to the kind of person that people see me as, I found it difficult to have a stable relationship. Despite the fact that I’m a very pretty girl, I still can’t have a relationship that last long. The highest period of time that I dated a man was 3 months. I was just unlucky with guys.
They speak annoying words to me all in the name of starting a relationship. The one I dated for a day was the most annoying of them all. When I gave him my “yes” answer in the night, we spent the next day together and had a memorable time. On getting back home, I started receiving annoying text messages from him. He started talking about how he had been looking at my arse when we were walking. He even went further to describe how it was bouncing. Bullshit! I got pissed by that and broke up with him instantly. If I didn’t do that, he would have gave me more insults. I came across lots of men like that. I couldn’t just put up with them.

When I met Demola, things were different. He puts up with all my repelling attitudes. Although, Demola is not handsome and broke guy, he’s the only guy who has ever swept me off my feet. He made me see good things about myself. He never focused on my bad side. I was so comfortable with him.
Despite the way I feel for him, I still cannot figure out the reason I find it difficult to introduce him to my friends as my boyfriend. I denied him on several occasions, saying that he was just a friend. He still would not get angry. Demola is so calm and God fearing.
He spoke to me about marriage. Deep within me, I knew Demola was the only man that I can successfully get married to due to my kind of person. I still could not tell him “yes” for some strange reasons. I told him to let me think about it and he said I have the whole time in the world. He said he’ll humbly wait until I decide.

Now, I’m thinking about how to break the news to my friends who actually thought Demola was just a friend. At times they even mock him in my presence thinking that he was just a friend. That aside, how will I take such a man who’s not physically attractive to my parents and siblings? I could remember that I and my other siblings have always been in that game of bringing
home the most handsome man. Also, my mother had warned me not to marry unless my man has a good job.

Demola on his part has a job, but, he’s not earning much. He planned on getting a room and parlour apartment for the start. How will I narrate the story to my mum, siblings, family and friends? I’m so in a tight corner and don’t know what to do. I am such a mess right now!

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