How We Missed Our “Mrs Right” In 2012

The institution of marriage is an honourable one, recognised and respected by God and man. AMARACHI EGBEOGU in this report looks into why bachelors who are ready for marriage missed out on it last year

Marriage is something almost everyone looks forward to, with pressure building from family and friends especially when one is considered ready for marriage. Unlike ladies, who tend to get married mostly in their early to mid- twenties, men on the other hand marry much later mostly because of the financial challenges that accompany marriage.

Most men would love to be very comfortable with the mindset of being able to provide for a family, thereby causing delay in marriage. Meanwhile, for some others there are several reasons for their delay in getting married.

35-year-old Michael Agbor says he would never have thought that at his age he would not have been married. He attributes the delay to a lot of heartbreaks from ladies in the past. “I am not married today because ladies always break my heart in the end,” Agbor said. He says he is presently in a relationship and he is looking forward to getting married soon.

Though it is rare to find guys complaining of heartbreak after their teenage years, some guys like Michael still get heart broken. For instance, 32-year-old Umar Farouk recently suffered a terrible heartbreak from a lady he claimed to have dated for 5 years. “

I dated my ex-girlfriend for 5 years and she left me heart-broken by cheating on me with my cousin, ” Farouk lamented. “ I don’t know if I can forgive her or if I can ever trust a lady whole-heartedly again,” he concluded.

For some others, heartbreak is not the case with them. 36-year-old Olusegun Aremu blames the Nigerian economy for his being unmarried till date. He says he has been struggling for long to keep body and soul together. His words, “ A man must be financially buoyant before any lady would agree.

Achieving and growing together has become a thing of the past, as ladies no longer seem to be interested in men who are just starting. Almost all ladies of marriageable age are looking for ‘ready made’ husbands who would be able to meet their needs. This condition has left many men single even when they have a strong desire to be married. Sharing in this view, 30-year-old Emeka Obi, says he thinks the ladies are the problem.

“ The ladies seem to have got their priorities misplaced as they focus on secondary issues instead of the primary things that should be considered. If a man is mature spiritually and emotionally and has a drive and goals set before him, I do not see why he shouldn’t be married, but today, our ladies are not really interested in all that,” Obi explained.

In some other cases, ‘brothers’ seem to be afraid of getting into the sacred institution of marriage because of the many challenges it brings, especially with the rise in divorce and separations today. 34-year-old Ben Editi says he keeps postponing his wedding date because of the fear of the unknown.

“I have changed my wedding dates 3 times because I have strong fears about getting married. I fear divorce the most, as it is no news anymore of couples getting divorced almost immediately after the wedding,” Ben said.

A few others like 33-year-old Mohammed Bayero blames not being married to unnecessary timidity. Mohammed claims to be a shy person and says that has been the major reason he is still single as he lacks ability to express his feelings towards the opposite sex. “ I have lost two ladies I would have loved to marry because of my inability to express my feelings and intentions towards them. I hope to get over this weakness soon, ”Bayero stated.

Hopefully, all the bachelors who missed out on marriage last year would take a cue from here, making amends and taking precautions where necessary. May there be more weddings this year!