{"id":9172,"date":"2011-12-08T23:43:35","date_gmt":"2011-12-08T23:43:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ghanamma.net\/2011\/12\/new-years-eve-film-review-a-festive-turkey\/"},"modified":"2011-12-08T23:43:35","modified_gmt":"2011-12-08T23:43:35","slug":"new-years-eve-film-review-a-festive-turkey","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/12\/08\/new-years-eve-film-review-a-festive-turkey\/","title":{"rendered":"New Year&#8217;s Eve film review: A festive turkey"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><!-- google_ad_section_start(name=s2) --><\/p>\n<p>\nBy<br \/>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.dailymail.co.uk\/home\/search.html?s=&#038;authornamef=Chris+Tookey\" rel=\"nofollow\">Chris Tookey<\/a><\/p>\n<p>Last updated at 11:43 PM on 8th December 2011<\/p>\n<p><span>New Year&#8217;s Eve (12A)<br \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span><b>Verdict:<\/b> A festive turkey<br \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p>\n<strong><br \/>\n<span><span><span title=\"Sappy New Year: Sanctimonious storylines, dreadful dialogue and Ashton Kutcher as a nitwit called Randy... New Year's Eve is nothing to celebrate\n\"><\/span><\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<span><span title=\"Chris Tookey\"><\/span><\/span><br \/>\n<span><span title=\"2011-12-08T23:43+0000\"><\/span><\/span><br \/>\nRating: <img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"rating\" src=\"http:\/\/www.ghanamma.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/0b2frating_showbiz_1.gif\" width=\"55\" height=\"9\" alt=\"1 Star Rating\" title=\"1 out of 5\" \/><\/strong>\n<\/p>\n<div>\n<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/i.dailymail.co.uk\/i\/pix\/2011\/12\/08\/article-2071864-0F1A42A300000578-310_233x582.jpg\" width=\"233\" height=\"582\" alt=\"Nothing to celebrate: Ashton Kutcher stars in New Year's Eve\" class=\"blkBorder\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Nothing to celebrate: Ashton Kutcher stars in New Year&#8217;s Eve<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><span>This has been a vintage year for turkeys, and they don\u2019t come bigger, more corporate or more greasily sanctimonious than Garry Marshall\u2019s latest attempt to rip off Love, Actually.<\/span><span><br \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>The 77-year-old Marshall seemingly exhausted his talent making Pretty Woman 20 years ago. <br \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>Since then, he has dedicated his career to manufacturing some of the worst movies in history, including Exit To Eden, Raising Helen and the appositely titled Dear God.<\/span><span><br \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>Last year, the pandering schlockmeister got lucky with the pathetic romcom Valentine\u2019s Day, which made nearly \u00a3200\u2009million \u2014 despite the awful screenplay by Katherine Fugate \u2014 on the strength of the starriest, and most horribly misused, cast of the year.<\/span><span><br \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>Marshall\u2019s even more excruciating follow-up, also written by Ms Fugate, begins as it means to go on, with former Oscar nominee Michelle Pfeiffer falling face first into rubbish. <br \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>This turns out to be an uncharacteristically perceptive metaphor for the movie.<\/span><span><br \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>Pfeiffer\u2019s exaggeratedly shy, dowdy office worker \u2014 this is not social realism \u2014 hands in her notice to her callous boss (John Lithgow), and employs the dishiest, most obnoxiously hip motorcycle messenger in Manhattan (Zac Efron) to drive her around New York and achieve a whole lot of \u2018New Year\u2019s resolutions\u2019 in the few hours before the end of the year.<\/span>\n<\/p>\n<p><span>Yes, this sub-plot is essentially a remake of The Bucket List, with Efron standing in for Jack Nicholson, and Pfeiffer giving us her Morgan Freeman, though as she gains in raunchy self-confidence, she starts behaving more and more like Nancy Dell\u2019Olio. <\/span><span><br \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>Pfeiffer\u2019s to-do list includes \u2018visit Bali\u2019 and \u2018save a life\u2019, though not, sadly, \u2018write a competent screenplay\u2019, which would have been a hell of a lot more useful. <br \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span><span>SCROLL DOWN FOR TRAILER<\/span><br \/><\/span><\/p>\n<div>\n<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/i.dailymail.co.uk\/i\/pix\/2011\/12\/08\/article-2071864-0F1A42AC00000578-236_468x304.jpg\" width=\"468\" height=\"304\" alt=\"New York mother: Sarah Jessica Parker plays a mother to 15-year-old Abigail Breslin\" class=\"blkBorder\" \/><\/p>\n<p>New York mother: Sarah Jessica Parker plays a mother to 15-year-old Abigail Breslin<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><span>Efron agrees to do everything she tells him to, and is too dim-witted to point out that New Year\u2019s resolutions are meant to be accomplished over a whole year, not during the last few hours of December 31. <\/span><span><br \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>The message of the picture, delivered with the sincerity of an unsolicited email from Nigeria, is that everyone deserves a second chance and forgiveness \u2014 even, presumably, Ashton Kutcher. <\/span><span><br \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>He, fresh from his separation from Demi Moore after his alleged infidelity, is foolhardy enough to play a character named Randy. <br \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>Randy is a cardboard cut-out with what he evidently thinks is a cute, shy, dimpled smile, because he uses it more times than Justin Bieber. <\/span><span><br \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>Randy vandalises his apartment building\u2019s New Year\u2019s Eve decorations \u2014 how cute is that? \u2014 because a girl jilted him at high school on that very date. <br \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>He recovers rapidly from that life-destroying trauma by getting trapped in a lift with Elise (Glee-star Lea Michele) and raises the only laugh of the movie with the line \u2018We\u2019ve been stuck in here for hours\u2019, which pretty much echoes the audience\u2019s thoughts.<\/span><\/p>\n<div>\n<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/i.dailymail.co.uk\/i\/pix\/2011\/12\/08\/article-2071864-0F1A427500000578-730_468x371.jpg\" width=\"468\" height=\"371\" alt=\"A night to remember: Jessica Biel's pregnant character rushes to the hospital with Seth Meyers on the night\" class=\"blkBorder\" \/><\/p>\n<p>A night to remember: Jessica Biel&#8217;s pregnant character rushes to the hospital with Seth Meyers on the night<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><span>Elise is a backing singer who\u2019s due to perform in Times Square with rock star Jensen \u2014 that\u2019s Jon Bon Jovi, in a daring departure from his real identity. <\/span><span><br \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>Jensen\u2019s having second thoughts about having run out on his fianc\u00e9e (Katherine Heigl) the previous New Year\u2019s Eve, allegedly because he wouldn\u2019t commit, though my theory is he caught a screening of her and Ashton Kutcher in Killers, and very sensibly ran for his life. <\/span><span><br \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>The reliably humourless Hilary Swank plays the neurotic career-woman who\u2019s organising the Times Square festivities for her demanding boss, a miscast Matthew Broderick, who has all the menacing authority of a dormouse. <\/span><span><br \/><\/span><\/p>\n<div>\n<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/i.dailymail.co.uk\/i\/pix\/2011\/12\/08\/article-2071864-0F1744D900000578-959_233x492.jpg\" width=\"233\" height=\"492\" alt=\"Sexy nurse: Halle Berry plays nurse to Robert De Niro in the film\" class=\"blkBorder\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Sexy nurse: Halle Berry plays nurse to Robert De Niro in the film<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><span>As if these plot lines aren\u2019t all depressing enough, there\u2019s a cancer-ridden photojournalist (Robert De Niro) who has lost the will to live, despite having Halle Berry as his devoted nurse, and is descending into the twinkliest senility you ever did see. <br \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>\u2018I made so many mistakes,\u2019 De Niro croaks. <br \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>By this time his mind is wandering, so we can\u2019t be sure if he\u2019s still in character, or bemoaning the judgment that led him to appear in this.<\/span><span><br \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>In the horribly lit sitcom department of the hospital, Jessica Biel and Seth Meyers compete with Sarah Paulson and Til Schweiger to win the hospital\u2019s $25,000 prize for breeding the first baby of the new year. <br \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>Carla Gugino supervises the births, wearing a good deal more lipgloss than you\u2019d expect for the usual gynaecologist. <\/span><span><br \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>I nearly forgot to mention the saintly single mother who puts her family above her own needs \u2014 who else could you cast in such a role but Sex And The City star Sarah Jessica Parker? <\/span><span><br \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>She is chasing after her 15-year-old daughter (Abigail Breslin) who\u2019s run away from home to \u2014 horrors! \u2014 kiss a boy at the New Year festivities. <\/span><span><br \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>The night\u2019s star prize for some pretty woman is, as so often in Garry Marshall movies, a hunky rich guy in a tuxedo, here played by Josh Duhamel with the star magnetism of a mahogany hall-stand. <br \/><\/span><\/p>\n<div>\n<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/i.dailymail.co.uk\/i\/pix\/2011\/12\/08\/article-2071864-0F11A51200000578-780_468x688.jpg\" width=\"468\" height=\"688\" alt=\"Premiere: Lea Michele and Ashton Kutcher posing together at the Los Angeles premiere of New Year's Eve\" class=\"blkBorder\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Premiere: Lea Michele and Ashton Kutcher posing together at the Los Angeles premiere of New Year&#8217;s Eve<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><span>He is rushing to New York for an assignation, possibly with a woman, but more likely his handsomeness trainer. Or he just needs to be inspected for woodworm.<\/span><span><br \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>It\u2019s painfully obvious that most of the actors turned up for as short a time as possible, received no direction and delivered a performance that was inexplicably hailed as adequate on the first take. <\/span><span><br \/><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>Every scene is lame, every line banal, every performance shallow \u2014 and the product placement for Warner Brothers films is both shameless and shameful.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span>WATCH THE TRAILER FOR NEW YEAR&#8217;S EVE BELOW<\/span><\/p>\n<p><!-- google_ad_section_end(name=s2) --><\/p>\n<p>Read the original post:<br \/>\n<a target=\"_blank\" href=\"http:\/\/www.dailymail.co.uk\/tvshowbiz\/reviews\/article-2071864\/New-Years-Eve-film-review-A-festive-turkey.html?ITO=1490\" title=\"New Year's Eve film review: A festive turkey\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">New Year&#8217;s Eve film review: A festive turkey<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p> By Chris Tookey Last updated at 11:43 PM on 8th December 2011 New Year&#8217;s Eve (12A) Verdict: A festive turkey Rating: Nothing to celebrate: Ashton Kutcher stars in New Year&#8217;s Eve This has been a vintage year for turkeys, and they don\u2019t come bigger, more corporate or more greasily sanctimonious than Garry Marshall\u2019s latest attempt to rip off Love, Actually. The 77-year-old Marshall seemingly exhausted his talent making Pretty Woman 20 years ago<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9172","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.0 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>New Year&#039;s Eve film review: A festive turkey - Ghanamma.com<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/12\/08\/new-years-eve-film-review-a-festive-turkey\/\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:title\" content=\"New Year&#039;s Eve film review: A festive turkey - Ghanamma.com\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:description\" content=\"By Chris Tookey Last updated at 11:43 PM on 8th December 2011 New Year&#039;s Eve (12A) Verdict: A festive turkey Rating: Nothing to celebrate: Ashton Kutcher stars in New Year&#039;s Eve This has been a vintage year for turkeys, and they don\u2019t come bigger, more corporate or more greasily sanctimonious than Garry Marshall\u2019s latest attempt to rip off Love, Actually. 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