{"id":464634,"date":"2011-07-20T08:00:29","date_gmt":"2011-07-20T08:00:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ghanamma.net\/2011\/07\/20\/i-like-sex-when-it%e2%80%99s-reckless\/"},"modified":"2011-07-20T08:00:29","modified_gmt":"2011-07-20T08:00:29","slug":"i-like-sex-when-its-reckless","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/07\/20\/i-like-sex-when-its-reckless\/","title":{"rendered":"I like sex when it\u2019s reckless!"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

Dear Bunmi,<\/strong><\/p>\n

I\u2019m in my 20s and works in the public relations department of a big firm and my job entails meeting a lot of people.<\/p>\n

My problem is that, I am a bit foot-loose and only like sex when it\u2019s a bit risky. I\u2019ve met up with clients and ended up having sex in their offices and in the loos!<\/p>\n

Last month, however, I met up with a man in the hotel room we secured for him and he was really rough with me and I ended up with bruises from his unsolicited love bites!<\/p>\n

This experience really freaked me out, but sex in safe situation just doesn\u2019t turn me on that much. Am I normal? Why am I like this? What can I do to stop this bad behaviour!<\/p>\n

Munirat,<\/strong>
By e-mail<\/p>\n

Dear Munirat,<\/strong>
It sounds as if you have what is referred to as \u201crisk taking\u201d personality danger which\u00a0 gets you going. It is typically men who have this kind of character, who like casual sex, play dangerous sports and, push life to the maximum.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

The answer for you is to find more challenges in your life. A more demanding job where you don\u2019t get to go out a lot, for instance, or a physical hobby like going to the gym.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

What\u2019s more, you need to give a serious thought to the danger of sexually transmitted diseases, especially AIDS!<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Dear Bunmi,<\/strong>
I suffer from vaginal dryness and it\u2019s driving me crazy. It makes sex so uncomfortable. I honestly don\u2019t enjoy it at all. I\u2019m in my 20s, so, it can\u2019t be my age. And, it happens with every man I sleep with, so it can\u2019t be that I have\u00a0 rubbish partners.<\/p>\n

Is my diet to blame? Should I be taking some medication? I don\u2019t want to carry a lubricant around with me because it would be so embarrassing. What do you advise I do?
Cheryl<\/strong>
By e-mail<\/p>\n

Dear Cheryl<\/strong>
For whatever it is worth, you could check if your hormone imbalance is making you dry. If it isn\u2019t a medical problem, then, the answer lies in getting yourself very worked up before you go for penetration. Most women need at least half an hour of foreplay before intercourse.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Don\u2019t just kiss and cuddle or rely on having your breasts caressed. Get your partner to penetrate you with his fingers and do some licking down there too. Saliva works just as well as a lubricant, you know! Lick your fingers and touch yourself during lovemaking to help you along. I find sex so painful<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Religious view on sex confusing<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dear Bunmi,<\/strong>
I used to belong to a charismatic religious sect with very strict views on sex. When I was 20, I broke away and went back to the Orthodox church I once belonged to. Unfortunately, I now have a problem with my beliefs. Some girls in my church dress very sexily and, being a hot blood male, I really fancy them.<\/p>\n

My old religion said this was lust and very wrong, but my Orthodox church assures me it is Ok and part of one\u2019s emotional outlook. I\u2019m comforted by this, but feel guilty as I\u2019m not sure I\u2019m right. I\u2019ve been tempted to go back to my old religion, but I don\u2019t really want to. Can you help in any way?<\/p>\n

Chris,<\/strong>
By e-mail<\/p>\n

Dear Chris,<\/strong>
You are pulled between two religions with different beliefs and, are not sure which to follow. I honestly believe that there is a difference between what religion says and what God says. God is God but religions are often influenced by ordinary men and women.<\/p>\n

I suggest you\u00a0 don\u2019t worry so much about the beliefs of either of the religions you\u2019ve been involved with. Trust God and your instinct to find an answer.<\/p>\n

Am I too old for sex toys?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dear Bunmi,<\/strong>
I\u2019m in my late 60s and lost my husband two years ago. I haven\u2019t had sex since his death and I miss having orgasms. I\u2019m now toying with the idea of using a dildo; I have even visited a few sex shops abroad just to have a look. Do you think I\u2019m a bit too old for this sort of thing? I wouldn\u2019t want to do myself any physical damage.<\/p>\n

Philo<\/strong>
By e-mail<\/p>\n

Dear Philo,<\/strong>
You\u2019re absolutely not too old for this sort of thing! As for doing yourself any harm \u2013 the opposite is the case. A dildo will massage your vagina keeping you healthy \u2018down there\u2019 plus, having orgasms will help you stay fit. So, just do it!<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

As you haven\u2019t had sex for a while, you may need to take things slowly and gently -like any muscle, your vagina can suffer from lack of use. And, if you feel a bit dry, add in some lubrication \u2013 you can use your own saliva, a specially-designed lubricant from a chemist, or any unperfumed body oil.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Comments are moderated. Please keep them clean and brief.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n

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