When you think about what makes sex good, the physical factors most likely come to mind: how you touch each other, the positions you try, and the body parts you focus on.<\/p>\n
But there’s another key contributor that is often overlooked: the words you utter. “Speaking or hearing erotically charged words stimulates dopamine transmission, which plays a huge role in sexual excitement,” explains Ian Kerner, PhD, author of Passionista.<\/p>\n
“They can enhance the emotional and physical intensity of the experience.” Sounds great…but what should you say that won’t seem ridiculous? (Unless you’re a porn star, “Do me hard, bad boy!” probably doesn’t roll off the tongue.)<\/p>\n
“Most women aren’t sure what sounds sexy, so they don’t say anything,” says Logan Levkoff, PhD, a sexologist in New York City. As a result, you’re missing out on pleasure \u2014 which is so not right.<\/p>\n
Here’s a revelation: On a Sirius Cosmo Radio show about talking dirty in bed, tons of guys called in to share the phrase that gets them hotter than any other. By a landslide, it was “I’m coming.” Yup, that’s it.<\/p>\n
And what about women? Are there words with similar superpowers for us? We turned to Kerner, who divulged a sentence tailored to maximize your satisfaction.<\/p>\n
For His Pleasure
“I’m coming.” So simple, so powerful. This sentence is like the sex version of bacon \u2014 men freakin’ love it. “Being a great lover is a prime source of pride for guys,” Levkoff says. “Telling him you’re about to orgasm is the ultimate accolade.”<\/p>\n
It’s proof that he’s successfully satisfying you. What’s more, he’s gotten you so aroused that you’re out of control \u2014 this phrase suggests that even if you tried, you couldn’t stop from tumbling over the edge.<\/p>\n
Announcing your orgasm’s arrival also amps up anticipation for that pivotal moment, thus enhancing enjoyment for both of you. “Plus, since most men are ready to climax before women are, this gives him permission to come,” Kerner says. That’s definitely music to his, um, ears.<\/p>\n
For Your Pleasure
Women, on the other hand, want something less basic than bacon. What Kerner suggests: “I love it when you verb my body part,” such as “I love it when you rub my thigh\/kiss my neck\/lick my breasts.”<\/p>\n
He explains, “Verbalizing the sensation brings your attention to it, which reinforces the pleasure you’re experiencing.” It’s like eating a yummy meal \u2014 talking about how delicious it is can make it even tastier.<\/p>\n
This phrase also helps you stay in the moment, Kerner adds. If your mind starts wandering or you’re stressing about other stuff, expressing what’s happening to you keeps you focused on what you’re feeling that second.<\/p>\n
Your guy gets off on it too. “It shows him that he’s doing something right,” Levkoff says. And once he knows you dig that move, he’ll probably repeat it. Excellent.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
More:<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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