{"id":354846,"date":"2011-03-31T21:29:32","date_gmt":"2011-03-31T21:29:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ghanamma.net\/2011\/03\/31\/pushy-parent-jada-pinkett-smith-on-her-children-willow-and-jadens-ascent-to-fame\/"},"modified":"2011-03-31T21:29:32","modified_gmt":"2011-03-31T21:29:32","slug":"pushy-parent-jada-pinkett-smith-on-her-children-willow-and-jadens-ascent-to-fame","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/03\/31\/pushy-parent-jada-pinkett-smith-on-her-children-willow-and-jadens-ascent-to-fame\/","title":{"rendered":"Pushy parent? Jada Pinkett Smith on her children Willow and Jaden’s ascent to fame"},"content":{"rendered":"

\n<\/p>\n

\nBy
\nRebecca Hardy<\/a>
Last updated at 10:29 PM on 31st March 2011<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\n\"'You<\/p>\n

‘You have Mother. You have Father. Father is protective. Mother is the teacher.’ Pinkett Smith says her children can handle life in the spotlight<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Jada Pinkett Smith is a firecracker of a woman. Fizzing with passion one minute, calm as a Buddhist monk the next, she admits she\u2019s not an easy person to love. <\/p>\n

Quite what merry hell she put her husband, the actor Will Smith, through when he once claimed she gave him permission to stray \u2014 this was later dismissed as a joke \u2014 is anybody\u2019s guess, but she wouldn\u2019t have minced her words. <\/p>\n

\u2018Nobody\u2019s going to pull the wool over my eyes,\u2019 she says. \u2018I\u2019m very clear about that.\u2019 God forbid anyone should try.<\/p>\n

Jada will be 40 later this year. When this is mentioned her PR, who is tapping away on her BlackBerry, interrupts to say 39 sounds better. But Jada\u2019s having none of it. <\/p>\n

\u2018I like saying I\u2019m going to be 40,\u2019 she says. \u2018I\u2019m transitioning into a whole other state of being by having a young daughter who\u2019s now just beginning her career.\u2019 <\/p>\n

She\u2019s talking about Willow, the Smiths\u2019 precocious ten-year-old who has become the trendiest girl on the planet following the phenomenal success of her debut single Whip My Hair. <\/p>\n

I\u2019m surprised Jada\u2019s volunteered this so candidly. We\u2019re supposed to be discussing Hawthorne, a hospital drama in which Jada plays the newly-widowed chief nursing officer Christina Hawthorne, who juggles the demands of her career with bringing up a teenage daughter. <\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve been told she doesn\u2019t really want to talk about Willow. But the subject\u2019s out in the open now. \u2018There are certain things I need to be for her,\u2019 says Jada. \u2018Things I need to give her \u2014 support, knowledge, wisdom and guidance. I have to be a mum, and I have to be mentor because I\u2019ve been down that road. I know what it is.\u2019 <\/p>\n

Gosh, talk about a pushy parent. And it doesn\u2019t stop with Willow. The couple\u2019s 12-year-old son Jaden had his first starring role in the 2010 \u00a325\u2009million remake of the Eighties hit The Karate Kid, which Jada produced. <\/p>\n

\n\"Spotlight:<\/p>\n

Spotlight: Jaden, Jada, Will and Willow at the premiere of the film ‘Karate Kid at London’s Leicester Square\n<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Now it isn\u2019t as if the Smiths \u2014 who earned \u00a320\u2009million between them last year alone \u2014are short of a bob or two. So why put their children in the spotlight?<\/p>\n

\u2018That\u2019s the thing that\u2019s difficult for people to understand,\u2019 Jada says. \u2018This isn\u2019t about fame or money. They were still going to have their trials because of who their parents are. As much as I wish I could figure out a way I could protect my children, they have their destiny. I\u2019m not going to put brakes on that out of fear.\u2019 <\/p>\n

Right then. But Willow\u2019s only ten. Isn\u2019t that a little young for destiny to come knocking? \u2018Our children are allowed to stay in the paradigm of being a child,\u2019 Jada says. \u2018They don\u2019t have to take care of their families: become the breadwinners, become the complete emotional, physical and financial focus that happens to many child stars.<\/p>\n

\u2018Our family structure is a little different and it\u2019s quite hard to comprehend because it\u2019s so outside what usually happens in a family, but the paradigm is the same. <\/p>\n

\u2018You have Mother. You have Father. Father is protective. Mother is the teacher. Most of the time with child stars, the child has all the responsibilities and the mother and father don\u2019t understand what\u2019s actually happening to them, so the child can trust no one. <\/p>\n

\n
\n\"Jada<\/p>\n

Jada Pinkett Smith and co-star Michael Vartan. She plays the newly widowed chief nursing officer Christina Hawthorne in the hospital drama\n<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\u2018They feel: \u201cI have to do this all by myself.\u201d And start to connect to people around them who might not be that trustworthy. But with us, the paradigm stays the same because the child can still be the child with an extraordinary gift. <\/p>\n

\u2018It is something to manage. I will not overlook that. I have a ten-year-old who can stand up in front of an audience of 17,000 and rock the house. I have to keep her grounded.\u2019 <\/p>\n

Grounded? We\u2019re talking here about a ten-year-old who turned up at a movie premiere with a mohawk and Givenchy handbag.<\/p>\n

\u2018I would say we\u2019re giving her the freedom to express herself through her dress \u2014 with boundaries. She can\u2019t wear tight leather pants or a corset,\u2019 says Jada. <\/p>\n

\u2018There\u2019s certain areas we just have to ease up on as far as our children are concerned. It\u2019s not about a certain pair of trousers or a certain jacket or if a child wants to shave her head. I mean, hair grows back.<\/p>\n

\u2018I find areas for Willow to express herself that, to me, are very safe \u2014 such as her dress. I\u2019m not going to let her go out with her midriff showing and she\u2019s not wearing any heels.\u2019 Which I suppose is logic of a\u00a0 sort, but to understand it you need to understand Jada.<\/p>\n

Between us on the coffee table in the Knightsbridge hotel room I\u2019m talking to her in is The Subtle Body: An Encyclopedia Of Your\u00a0 Energetic Anatomy \u2014 a rather weighty reference book for healers, and Jada\u2019s bedtime reading.<\/p>\n

Jada was bought up in a dirt-poor neighbourhood in Baltimore, Maryland. Her mother was addicted to heroin and her father told her aged seven: \u2018I\u2019m a drug addict and a criminal, I can\u2019t be your father.\u2019 <\/p>\n

She went to Hollywood at 19: \u2018When I came to Hollywood, I was looking for love because of what I felt I lacked at home. Then I recognised I\u2019d never find what I was looking for in the entertainment business, so I had to strip everything down and rebuild it again.<\/p>\n

\n\"Child<\/p>\n

Child star: Willow Smith performs at the National Indoor Arena on the first date of her UK tour supporting Justin Bieber<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\u2018I believe that when we travel to our darkest places, our soul finds itself and does the most work. <\/p>\n

\u2018That\u2019s why we\u2019re constantly challenged in different ways. The universe will throw thing at you, but I believe there\u2019s blessings on the other side of the pain. <\/p>\n

\u2018This year I lost my father, my grandmother and my aunt. Those losses have created an extraordinary change within my psyche. <\/p>\n

\u2018I had to learn about forgiveness, letting go \u2014 understanding that people do the best they can.<\/p>\n

\u2018With my father, I didn\u2019t have a problem with the fact he felt he wasn\u2019t fit to be with my mother, but I did have a problem with the fact he felt it was worth a try when I was famous. <\/p>\n

\u2018I was very angry. But in the last two years I reached out to him, luckily enough. He died of an overdose. I understand now that, in the state he was in, he absolutely did the best he could. <\/p>\n

\u2018When it comes to death, all of the other things we spend so much time on don\u2019t matter at all. So why focus on them while we\u2019re living?\u00a0 <\/p>\n

\u2018The jewels you leave behind are the memories of how you love. And for me, that love gets tangible through our children. <\/p>\n

\u2018There\u2019s a cycle of mine in Hollywood that\u2019s ending now and the birth of another cycle \u2014 my daughter\u2019s cycle. I have to be the best I can be for her.\u2019<\/p>\n