When was the last time you had sex? If you can\u2019t remember, chances are you\u2019re married with children. But does that mean you have to go without? Read on for ways to bring back the bedroom bliss\u2026<\/p>\n
\u201cI don\u2019t know why, but the smell of baby spit-up and poopy diapers just doesn\u2019t turn my husband on,\u201d jokes Pamela H., 29, of San Francisco. \u201cAfter our twins were born, we didn\u2019t have sex for six months. We were too exhausted.\u201d <\/p>\n
Even when they were in the mood, lovemaking was derailed by one of their twins wailing.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy girlfriends [would] say they\u2019d also gone months at a time without sex. We decided if you make it past eleven months with no sex whatsoever, you can declare yourself a born-again virgin!\u201d<\/p>\n
While sleepless nights are the norm for many new parents, it\u2019s not always exhaustion that\u2019s to blame for post-child celibacy. Many women are self-conscious about their post-baby bodies.<\/p>\n
\u201cI remember when we used to tear each other\u2019s clothes off,\u201d recalls new mom Wendy R. of Ridgewood, N.J. \u201cBut with pregnancy weight still hanging on, I don\u2019t feel very sexy or attractive. And my boobs are so huge and swollen, the last thing I want is for my husband to touch me!\u201d<\/p>\n
Sometimes, one partner harbors resentment toward the other and withholds sex as punishment. <\/p>\n
One Chicago mom says she hated that her husband went to work every day and left her home to handle their newborn.<\/p>\n
\u201cEven when he was home, much of the responsibility fell on me. I was furious and jealous,\u201d she says. So she used the \u201cHoney, I have a headache\u201d excuse more than a few times to \u201cget even.\u201d <\/p>\n
All this leads to the big question: Is anyone with kids getting any? <\/p>\n
About 15%-20% of all marriages are \u201csexless,\u201d according to a recent Newsweek study, meaning the couples have sex no more than 10 times a year. You read that correctly \u2013 that\u2019s less than once a month! And those statistics continue to climb. <\/p>\n
Mainly because most women are overworked, overcommitted and overextended financially. And stress is hardly an aphrodisiac.<\/p>\n
So what can you do if you\u2019ve lost the lust and want it back?<\/p>\n
Make your marriage \u2013 and your sex life \u2013 a priority, not an afterthought, advises Rachel Blakeman, a Manhattan psychotherapist and managing editor of The Candidate, a psychoanalytical journal. <\/p>\n
\u201cBoth partners need to make a commitment to bring the passion back into the relationship,\u201d Blakeman says. \u201cCouples should begin by communicating their sexual needs and openly discussing how they can be fulfilled.\u201d <\/p>\n
Part of that discussion must include a sex plan for where, when and how often. Then stick to it \u2013 even if you\u2019re tired, unenthused or covered in baby food. Remember the movie 9\u00bd Weeks? A little applesauce behind the ears can be sexy\u2026 go with it!<\/p>\n
\u201cIf we want it, we have to seize the moment,\u201d says Christina H. of New York City. \u201cThe second our daughter goes down for a nap, we jump on each other \u2013 in the kitchen, the living room, whatever. It\u2019s a challenge \u2013 but exciting too.\u201d<\/p>\n
It isn\u2019t impossible to get your mojo back, Blakeman says \u2013 even if it seems like ages since you last made love.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou and your husband were a team before baby came along. And you can reclaim that intimacy with a little effort.\u201d <\/p>\n
Rev Up the Romance
Blakeman suggests taking these 7 simple steps to jump-start your sex life now.<\/p>\n
1. Schedule \u201cwe\u201d time. Get a Saturday-night sitter, and plan a regular date night. Or just watch a baseball game or movie at home together while drinking beer. It\u2019s about quality \u2013 not quantity \u2013 and finding the time to be a couple without your little munchkins in the middle. <\/p>\n
2. Make the first move. If your spouse isn\u2019t in the mood, take the initiative. Don\u2019t take it personally if he doesn\u2019t take the bait. Just like you, he may simply be too exhausted or stressed. As the saying goes, if at first you don\u2019t succeed, try, try again\u2026 tomorrow.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n
![](\"http:\/\/www.ghanamma.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/201ed65bget.media_328-150x90.gif\")
<\/p>\n
More here:<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
When was the last time you had sex? If you can\u2019t remember, chances are you\u2019re married with children<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":0,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-311733","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard"],"yoast_head":"\n
Sex After Kids - Ghanamma.com<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/03\/15\/sex-after-kids\/\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:title\" content=\"Sex After Kids - Ghanamma.com\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:description\" content=\"When was the last time you had sex? If you can\u2019t remember, chances are you\u2019re married with children\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.ghanamma.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/201ed65bget.media_328-150x90.gif\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@ghanamma\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@ghanamma\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/03\/15\/sex-after-kids\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/03\/15\/sex-after-kids\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"\",\"@id\":\"\"},\"headline\":\"Sex After Kids\",\"datePublished\":\"2011-03-15T17:55:18+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/03\/15\/sex-after-kids\/\"},\"wordCount\":691,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/03\/15\/sex-after-kids\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\/\/www.ghanamma.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/201ed65bget.media_328-150x90.gif\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/03\/15\/sex-after-kids\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/03\/15\/sex-after-kids\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/03\/15\/sex-after-kids\/\",\"name\":\"Sex After Kids - Ghanamma.com\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/#website\"},\"primaryImageOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/03\/15\/sex-after-kids\/#primaryimage\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/03\/15\/sex-after-kids\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\/\/www.ghanamma.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/201ed65bget.media_328-150x90.gif\",\"datePublished\":\"2011-03-15T17:55:18+00:00\",\"author\":{\"@id\":\"\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/03\/15\/sex-after-kids\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/03\/15\/sex-after-kids\/#primaryimage\",\"url\":\"http:\/\/www.ghanamma.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/201ed65bget.media_328-150x90.gif\",\"contentUrl\":\"http:\/\/www.ghanamma.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/201ed65bget.media_328-150x90.gif\"},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/\",\"name\":\"Ghanamma.com\",\"description\":\"News In Ghana - Latest Ghana News Headlines\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":{\"@type\":\"PropertyValueSpecification\",\"valueRequired\":true,\"valueName\":\"search_term_string\"}}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Sex After Kids - Ghanamma.com","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/03\/15\/sex-after-kids\/","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_title":"Sex After Kids - Ghanamma.com","twitter_description":"When was the last time you had sex? If you can\u2019t remember, chances are you\u2019re married with children","twitter_image":"http:\/\/www.ghanamma.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/201ed65bget.media_328-150x90.gif","twitter_creator":"@ghanamma","twitter_site":"@ghanamma","twitter_misc":{"Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/03\/15\/sex-after-kids\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/03\/15\/sex-after-kids\/"},"author":{"name":"","@id":""},"headline":"Sex After Kids","datePublished":"2011-03-15T17:55:18+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/03\/15\/sex-after-kids\/"},"wordCount":691,"commentCount":0,"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/03\/15\/sex-after-kids\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/www.ghanamma.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/201ed65bget.media_328-150x90.gif","inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/03\/15\/sex-after-kids\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/03\/15\/sex-after-kids\/","url":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/03\/15\/sex-after-kids\/","name":"Sex After Kids - Ghanamma.com","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/03\/15\/sex-after-kids\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/03\/15\/sex-after-kids\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"http:\/\/www.ghanamma.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/201ed65bget.media_328-150x90.gif","datePublished":"2011-03-15T17:55:18+00:00","author":{"@id":""},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/03\/15\/sex-after-kids\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/03\/15\/sex-after-kids\/#primaryimage","url":"http:\/\/www.ghanamma.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/201ed65bget.media_328-150x90.gif","contentUrl":"http:\/\/www.ghanamma.net\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/201ed65bget.media_328-150x90.gif"},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/","name":"Ghanamma.com","description":"News In Ghana - Latest Ghana News Headlines","potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/311733","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=311733"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/311733\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=311733"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=311733"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ghanamma.com\/2011\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=311733"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}