What we learned this week… Arsene Wenger needs to be stripped of his economics degree if he hangs on to Samir Nasri

Samir Nasri, Arsenal

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By Nick Price

Arsene Wenger should be stripped of his economics degree if he holds on to Samir Nasri

WWLTW likes the French boss for giving power to the geeks in world football and for having the stones to stick to his beliefs – both fiscal and football – despite the whole world railing against him, and that just about makes up for the sanctimoniousness and the hypocrisy that makes him about as irritating as a recurring rash in a rude place.

But this column – as presumably every single football follower in the world, likewise – was perplexed this week when Le Professor proudly boasted that he would not be selling Samir Nasri this summer, despite the player wanting out and both Manchester clubs willing to spend in excess of £20 million on him, and would be happy to hang on to midfielder for another season and let him go for nothing next year.

It would appear that Wenger – a man who could literally teach you a lesson about economics given he has a degree in the subject – has totally lost his marbles by taking such a stance, and so too have the Arsenal board. The Frenchman yelped to reporters: “I’m willing to keep him for another year, even if it means we risk losing him for nothing in a year’s time. I think the board agrees with me as it is a technical decision.”

Now, WWLTW is no mathematician but even it knows that Wenger and Arsenal are going to lose out big time by not cashing in on him for an over the top fee now (in similar circumstances, former European Footballer of the Year Michael Owen left Liverpool for just £8m and a useless winger to join Real Madrid) and then paying his wages all through this season and letting him leave for zilch in a year’s time.

That’s not even mentioning the disruption that speculation over Nasri’s future could have on the side, especially considering that he can begin negotiating with clubs from January. How on earth can Arsenal expect to win the title with that sideshow?

Obviously, however, this could just be posturing to get a better deal from one of Nasri’s suitors, in which case WWLTW will doff its cap to Wenger for a fine act of brinkmanship. But at the moment, this whole situation seems more dangerous and stupid than getting in the way of Joey Barton after 10 pints of ale. The boss’s balls are well and truly on the line now.

Nut up or shut up | Wenger prepares to enter the World’s Biggest Balls contest

Pepe Reina might well have been lied to

Back in May, Liverpool’s best pound-for-pound player (arguably only Victor Valdes and Iker Casillas are better than him, while you can easily name at least five individuals superior to Steven Gerrard or Luis Suarez in their respective positions), committed his future to Kenny Dalglish and the new red machine by saying he had been convinced of the project at Anfield, citing a “big summer” of transfer activity to come.

Call this column cynical, but it just can’t imagine that Pepe Reina would have leapt up with joy and shouted “wowzers, I’m staying” had Dalglish laid out his plans for domination thusly: “Wee Uncle Fester, we’ll be splashing out that £50 million the Yanks are giving us on Charlie Adam, Jordan Henderson and Stewart Downing. Oh, and we’ll try and bin off that Raul Meireles fella as well. I take it you’re up for that, eh?”

Maybe Reina was told that the rather underwhelming trio would be the top targets and was happy enough with it, but there seems just as much chance of that being true as there is of Cristiano Ronaldo and Lionel Messi fanboys growing up and learning to live and let live rather than bore the whole world with their tedious arguments (it’s obvious that the Argentine is a bazillion times better than that posing doofus anyway).

What we will learn this weekend…

Corinthians will cough up the required amount of money to buy Carlos Tevez and the Argentine will gleefully sign on the dotted line, expressing his happiness at finally being closer to his family in Buenos Aires. A day later he will hand in a transfer request. Harry Redknapp, still to make a transfer this summer, will go on a spending frenzy and then tell a journalist to flap off when it is suggested that he likes to buy players. Sir Alex Ferguson will continue to deny having any interest in Wesley Sneijder, even as the Dutchman is sat beside him being introduced as a Manchester United player to the media.

That’s not to say that the three signings won’t be good players for Liverpool. They’ll certainly add something to the team (Downing width, Henderson potential and Adam a set of Irn Bru-rotted teeth that could open a bottle of beer) and make the squad stronger, but it’s hard to imagine that Reina – who had been linked for months with moves to some of the world’s best teams (and Arsenal) – was convinced to stay by the prospect of the club throwing such a ridiculous amount of money on three good but not nearly great players.

Either Dalglish has a transfer surprise up his sleeve or the Spanish goalkeeper must be flapping his arms around in frustration right about now as his boss starts scraping the bottom of the pot of transfer money without having bought a single marquee top-class player.

Little witch Luka Modric is acting like a brat but Daniel Levy isn’t much better

Every year there’s always one. One saga that gets under everyone’s skin as a player says he wants to go to a bigger club. Several seasons ago it was Chelsea’s two-summer long pursuit of Steven Gerrard, while the utterly mind-numbing romantic triste between Arsenal, Barcelona and Cesc Fabregas flirting and lifting his skirt up to both clubs appears to be never ending.

This summer we’ve had several such sagas aside from the perennial Catalan snoozefest, and a new name has joined the cast as Luka Modric plays the part of wronged footballer wanting to move to a bigger club, while portraying Tottenham chairman Daniel Levy as the ultimate badass villain in denying him his God-given right to join Chelsea.

The witch-like playmaker (just look at his face – give him a hat and a broom and he’d fly to Stamford Bridge) has huffed and puffed and acted like a bit of a brat since the Blues made their first derisory offer. It’s fair enough that he wants to move to a club in the Champions League as he certainly belongs in that sort of company, and nobody should be knocked for wanting to further their career and earn more money elsewhere, but WWLTW can find little sympathy with him as he decided to sign a six-year contract last summer.

And for all that Modric might moan that Levy has reneged on a gentleman’s agreement that he would only sign a new contract on the understanding that Tottenham would allow him to leave if a “concrete” offer came in from a bigger club, Levy can rightly say that “concrete” doesn’t necessarily mean “acceptable”. Besides, if the little schemer wanted to cover his backside he should have insisted on some sort of clause being written into his contract, so he didn’t have to play the “BUT YOU SAID I COULD GO!” card like a pathetic crybaby.

But Tottenham haven’t exactly covered themselves in glory in this dispute either, with Levy reportedly threatening to have the midfielder – by far and way the team’s best player – rot in the reserves, which sure will be worth the tens of thousands of pounds you’ll be paying him and will absolutely make him come to his senses and want to stay.   

So far, WWLTW scores this saga a dead heat in the idiot stakes.

Witch way next? | Surely Luka could come up with a potion that would let him leave?

Andre Villas-Boas is scared of the spirit of Jose Mourinho

Porto president Pinto da Costa this week revealed that the new Chelsea boss was obsessed about living up to his former mentor, and went as far as to say that the 33-year-old “was afraid of Jose Mourinho’s ghost”.

As well he should be. WWLTW is afraid of all sorts of things (spiders and hard work, mostly), and if it had the Real Madrid coach chasing it around in the dark, barking out instructions in a white bedsheet then it too would be terrified.

Bravo to Andre Villas-Boas for facing up to his fears and moving to Stamford Bridge, where legend has it the spirit of ‘the Special One’ is still seen running through corridors hoisting trophies, shouting obscenities, banging on Roman Abramovich’s door and generally being an arrogant ghostly prat. He’s braver than I.

Ryan Babel still hasn’t gotten the hang of Twitter

We all remember the Dutch winger and all-round disappointment getting himself into trouble with the English FA after posting a picture of referee Howard Webb in a Manchester United shirt as a hilarious piece of satire to suggest that the official was bent in the Old Trafford club’s favour (come on, Ryan, even WWLTW doesn’t stoop to such obvious gags as that) – an act that saw the then Liverpool player hit with a five-figure fine.

And despite going into Twitter jail, it appears that far from having gone through his incarceration and coming out the other side as a better tweeter, he has instead turned into even more of a Smart Alec with an even bigger ego, seemingly still thinking that he’s an up-and-coming superstar destined to replace Thierry Henry at Arsenal rather than a 24-year-old disappointment slumming it at Hoffenheim.

On Thursday, after Liverpool announced they had agreed a deal to bring Stewart Downing to Anfield, Babel babbled: ‘Downing with my number? #smh shake my head’

Ah, that famous No.19 shirt that you adorned at Liverpool, Ryan, the one which hardly had to be washed as you spent most of the time on the bench or casually strolling down the left flank, meaning it was never once drenched in sweat. Did you expect it to be retired to honour your gut busting efforts and crap afros? Get over yourself.

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