What we learned this week… Arsene Wenger’s Uefa tirade is as ridiculous as Alex Song’s hair

By Nick Price

Arsene Wenger proves he’s a terrible loser, again, and not a particularly wise moaner

Say what you want about the referee, but blimey, weren’t Barcelona a bit special against Arsenal? They barely let the Gunners scratch the ball, as the Spanish press not entirely unfairly put it.

Not necessarily if you ask Arsene Wenger – whose talent as a manager is matched only by ability to expertly field excuses. Asked by Sky Sports about the result, he ridiculously claimed that had Robin van Persie stayed on his Arsenal side would have gone on to win.

Of course, the sending off was a terrible joke, but all the Dutch striker did in his time on the pitch was run about looking a bit sorry for himself – a bit like Nicklas Bendtner on a good day, really – as his pals behind him had their pants pulled down.

Wenger then came out with an early contender for understatement of the millennium by saying: “We lost to a good team.” (WWLTW would like to channel that sentiment by adding that Lionel Messi is a bit of a decent player.)

But the Frenchman topped it off on Thursday with a ridiculous tirade at Uefa when they dared to hit him with an improper conduct charge after the referee reported that he had sworn at him, which, while an entirely understandable reaction from a well and truly wronged manager, is an instant disciplinary matter.

“We are out of the Champions League,” he said, “we have lost one of our big ambitions, we have been punished with a lot of damages and, on top of that, we have to say sorry to Uefa” – no, just you and Samir Nasri have to say sorry for not respecting the referee, Arsene.

While Wenger may have been right to let off his steam (and sticking it to the man is always cool in WWLTW‘s book), to claim he had done “nothing wrong” and then to go on to insinuate that it was Uefa’s fault they lost because “they named the referees who come to the games” was an act of utter lunacy. He’d already poked the bear by swearing at the referee, he then insulted the bear and its family by labelling European football’s governing body a “dictatorship”. Don’t expect the bear to bite back softly.

It’s rather like The Shawshank Redemption when Andy Dufresne tells the warden that he’s had enough of being a part of his corrupt ship and gets punished by being sent to solitary for a month. At least we we were all united behind Andy, given he was undeniably a wronged man trying to do right in an unjust world, but what exactly does Wenger think he’s achieving with his fit of rage, especially when the only crime he has been charged with – improper language towards the referee – warrants a deserved slap on the wrist?

(Don’t worry Arsenal fans, WWLTW has no agenda against your club or your manager, they just happen to provide an awful lot of moments ripe for ripping, like Alex Song’s hair, for instance – what’s going on there, eh?)

Hmm, maybe I shouldn’t have said that? | Arsene may live to regret outburst

Harry Redknapp is a “football manager” after all

Last year the Tottenham boss, known for his love of a good bit of transfer activity, reacted ever so politely when a reporter innocently asked him whether he was going to be doing a bit of wheeling and dealing by telling him that he is a “football manager”.

After seeing off AC Milan you have to respect the man’s talents in the fine art of tactics. He may not look or speak like a man au fait with the technical side of life – he’s crap on the Wii on those adverts, isn’t he? – but hats off for dispatching the Serie A leaders with some fine smothering stuff straight out of the Uefa manual.

Apropos of nothing, by the way, that Spurs squad on Wednesday had six players signed by Redknapp in it.

Javier Mascherano showed why holding midfielders are actually important

Too often the water carriers will be derided for their ‘limited’ ability on the ball by pundits who seem to think that every midfielder should be able to pick out a team-mate blindfolded and dribble past five opponents with one leg tied to the other.

Yet against Arsenal, Javier Mascherano in one tackle showed why a good holding midfielder is essential. Despite Barcelona’s brilliance against the Gunners, they still were only an own goal away from slipping out of Europe by failing to turn their superiority into goals, and when Nicklas Bendtner was freed by Jack Wilshere with little under 10 minutes to go hearts were well and truly in mouths.

Out of seemingly nowhere, the former Liverpool man slid in and poked the ball away just before the striker was about to strike when one-on-one with Victor Valdes. Even if that’s the only good thing he’s done for Barcelona this season, it still showed what a defensive midfielder should be doing and how important they are. The guy practically tackled Barcelona’s way to the quarters (see Sandro’s performance on Wednesday night for another classic example of a midfield stifler).

Then again, we’re being awfully fair on Bendtner here. There was obviously no way he was going to be able to make a decent first touch and then clinically stroke it home. If you’re going to talk the talk, Nicklas, walk the bloody walk.

Rafael Benitez should have a full-time gig as a pundit

At one point the Spaniard and Graeme Souness were joined by Jamie Redknapp in Sky’s gantry at Camp Nou, and from left to right it looked a bit like the evolution of pundit.

On the far left we had Redknapp Jnr, who rather alarmingly informed us that “Barcelona literally passed Arsenal to death”; in the middle it was the more refined Souness, who seemed every inch like someone you wouldn’t want to have a difference of opinion with; and on the far right we had old Rafa, grinning away and telling us about defensive lines and the importance of pressing.

The perfect blend of the analytical, the angry, and the endearingly ill-informed. Far better than two nodding ex-pros farting out cliches and agreeing with each other all night like Match of the Day.

And he should also be given the job because the headgear he wore made him look all the more like Sonic the Hedgehog’s arch nemesis Dr Robotnik.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic is still a little man in the big games

The Swedish striker is a bit of a myth, really – he only turns it on when most of the world isn’t watching.

His scoring record and the millions of YouTube videos showing him banging in stunners and flicking about with fruit prove that he’s obviously a highly gifted player, but his European record is abysmal. And against Tottenham over two legs he made less noise than a flea breaking wind.

A player capable of doing great things but not a great player then.

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Sir Alex Ferguson is the only person happy with Manchester United’s current group of midfielders

To be fair, after Michael Carrick was given a new contract last week, there’s no better time for second-rate midfielders (yes, you, Darron Gibson) to cheekily ask for a new deal. With this kind of generosity from Sir Alex (to players, not the media, of course), WWLTW might be able to get a contract if it rocked up at Old Trafford and knocked on the knight of the realm’s door to inform him that it can play sideways and backwards balls and balloon shots over at will.

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