The Common Challenges that Singles Face
Singles are often so entrenched in wanting a relationship they are willing to settle for just about anything. We have to learn how to overcome these common challenges that singles face.
Challenge #1 – If You Don’t Make Me Better, Why Are You Still Here?
Really, I could leave it at the caption. This is a must in any relationship. If you don’t make me better, if you don’t make me feel stronger, if you don’t make me love harder, why are you here? In the business world, we call it a “value add.” Your mate needs to bring value to your life. Not simply take up space, breathe air and eat up your food.
Here’s an exercise to do when you’re questioning a relationship. Make two lists. One list is what value your mate adds to the relationship. The second list is what energy he/she drains out of the relationship. There are a couple of ways to evaluate the lists. The first way is to determine if your mate is draining more from the relationship than adding value. Another way to evaluate these two lists is to evaluate on quality rather than quantity. Are they draining on your self-esteem? Are they draining on your spirituality? Are they draining on your peace of mind? If your mate is exhausting to you, if your situation is exhausting, you need to evaluate why they are still there—and why you are still there.
Challenge #2 – I’m an Adult…and I Need You to Acknowledge This
Parents are great gifts. A parent is someone who loves you unconditionally, with a wealth of knowledge and experience who has your best interest at heart. The problem is sometimes they love us too much. They want what’s best for us, but they don’t want to allow us to grow by making our own mistakes. Advice is fine and often warranted, but if they protect you from everything, you’ll never experience anything! A bird can’t fly if they don’t risk the fall. We can’t grow if we don’t make mistakes to learn how to live on our own.
Listen to your parents. Be respectful of your parents. Adult children, respectfully tell your parents you are an old enough to make mistakes and wise enough to learn from them—because of what they taught you, of course!
Don’t settle for mess and call it a relationship. Do not allow a co-parent’s lack of maturity to interfere with your greatness! Acknowledge your parents, but live your life. All of these challenges are things we can deal with positively. These are common situations in relationships, but the question is how will YOU choose to handle them?