Talking s*x, especially when it involves health issues, can be embarrassing — especially when it’s in front of a 50-year-old, bespectacled doctor holding a tube of lube and a speculum. Here are some of the burning and most embarrassing s*x questions most people are too afraid to ask, along with their answers.
1. I noticed some bumps on my boyfriend’s joystick. Are they normal, or should I be worried?
Like women, men can develop fibrous lumps (excess tissue) down below. Bumps also can signal an allergic reaction, possibly to latex or the clothing detergent he uses. Either way, it’s a good idea to ask your man to talk to his doc about anything that may appear weird (lumps can be a sign of a sexually transmitted infection).
2. I love having s*x with my partner, but his joystick is very small. Does size matter?
Size shouldn’t matter. What counts is whether you’re satisfied with the s*x you and your partner have. Many men make up for their size limitations by outperforming their larger-than-life peers in other Intimate areas (pre-intimacy, MouthAction, etc.). To up the penetration factor of a man with a smaller joystick, try climbing on top or lying on your back and lifting your legs over your head. Both will push a man’s joystick — no matter the size — closer to your center of gravity. If your partner is concerned about the size of his joystick, be sure to stroke his intimate ego. Compliment him on the ways he performs, but remember not to over talk the issue. This could cause you to ramble or say something that could be inadvertently hurtful.
3. I have no problem getting naturally lubricated for s*x, but during it, I feel like my womanliness “loosens.” Is there something I can do to make it feel tighter? Like any other muscle in your body, your womanliness needs exercise to stay “tight.” That’s especially true as we age.
One of the best things you can do now are Kegel exercises. These little squeezes not only improve the strength of your womanly walls, but they also strengthen your pelvic floor. As a bonus, you’ll have stronger heavenly feelings. So how do you do them? Sit down and squeeze your womanly muscles — as though you’re holding in urine — and repeat the action several times over.
4. My partner likes to watch Indecency to get excited. When — if ever — should I be
Watching Indecency can be a normal and healthy part of a intimate relationship, as long as your partner is caring and respectful of your intimate boundaries. Alarm bells should start ringing if he/she starts requesting you to perform “moves” or “acts” that make you feel disrespected or uncomfortable. Indecency also can be a problem if it starts to take over a person’s life, or if he starts spending all of his downtime watching it online. Talk to your partner about how you’re feeling and work together to ensure you’re both comfortable and satisfied with your s*x life.
5. My partner and I have been together for
several years, and I’m no longer sexually
satisfied. Are we doomed?
Problems in the bedroom can be a sign that something else is wrong in your relationship. Have the two of you been spending more day-to-day time apart than together? Are you both extra stressed? Have you been neglecting date nights or the little things that make you feel special and loved? How have you been communicating? Before writing off your relationship entirely, talk to your partner about your declining level of intimate satisfaction. From there, work together to figure out how to spice things up. Go back to basics if you have to and relearn what makes each other tick.
self-service. Lie in bed and caress your partner’s body. Talk about your fantasies. Delving deeper into your relationship —emotionally and sexually — should up the wow factor in the bedroom.
6. Why do some men need several hours to recuperate after s*x, but it only takes me, like, five minutes?
The difference is in the hormones that course through the veins of a man and woman during s*x. When a man reaches heavenly feeling, his pituitary gland releases a concoction of chemicals that make “getting it up” right after expulsion difficult. The major chemical to blame is prolactin. Responsible for providing that feeling of intimate satisfaction, it also forces a guy to wait before going another round. Research shows men with lower prolactin levels have faster recovery times. Women, naturally, have lower levels than most men.
7. Sometimes my partner has trouble, um, finishing. What’s going on?
If your man has trouble climaxing, several things could be to blame. Your partner’s mind could be wandering elsewhere. Maybe he’s distracted or is stressed about work. Then again, maybe he’s feeling self-conscious about not satisfying your needs in bed. If you suspect this may be the case, talk to him, pre-Reproduction, about ways to relax. A more serious reason he may not be able to finish is something called “slow expulsion.” In this instance, a man may have no problem getting excited, but staying that way and reaching heavenly feeling is exceptionally difficult. This kind of problem has been linked to a number of nerve-related conditions like diabetes, nerve damage, prostate disease and the use of alcohol and drugs. In this instance, your partner should speak to his family physician about treatment options.
8. I bleed a little bit after s*x. Should I be
Post-coital bleeding can happen for several reasons. If you’re a virgin, bleeding may happen because the hymen, a very thin piece of skin-like tissue that stretches across the opening of the womanliness, breaks or tears. This is normal. If, however, you’ve been sexually active for a while, bleeding after s*x may be a sign that you’ve contracted a sexually transmitted disease (for example, chlamydia, gonorrhea, etc.) or that a more serious health problem may be affecting your uterus (such as endometriosis, polyps, fibroids or a yeast infection). Either way, if you start spotting post-s*x, see your doctor immediately.
9. My partner wants to try backdoor, but I’m worried about the effects it will have on my derriere. Is it safe?
Bum play is a completely normal part of a intimate relationship. Research shows that the nerve endings in the anus and rectum can stimulate heavenly feeling and increase intimate pleasure. If done properly, backdoor should not affect your derriere in a negative way. Some things to remember:
Start slowly: The anus is very sensitive, so it’s important to take the time to explore the region with your partner (using his or her fingers and/or small intimacy gadgets) before jumping into BehindBased intercourse. Not only will this make you feel more comfortable, but it will also give you an idea of the pressure and sensations you enjoy or dislike.
Stop if you feel pain: Pain during BehindBased intercourse is a sign that something’s not quite right.
Play safe: Keep the area clean (it’s rife with bacteria) and always use a condom. And never, ever put anything from the anus into the womanliness; the bacteria could cause an infection. Wash the area thoroughly after s*x, and use plenty of lubrication to make penetration easier.
10. I get very “wet” during s*x. Am I normal?
While it may be embarrassing to get so wet down there, you’re actually very lucky to be able to self-lubricate during s*x (many women have the opposite problem).
That said, you may experience increased levels of fluidduring intercourse due to the use of birth control pills,time in your monthly menstrual cycle or the fact that you’re super excited (something of which your partner should be proud).