Posted: Saturday 17th May 2014 at 7:00 am

Must Read – What is Nagging And Why Do People Nag?

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We all know the definition of nagging, but what is the real meaning of nagging? It’s easy to find a nagging meaning in the dictionary, but understanding it and realizing it takes a deeper insight into yourself.

The meaning of nagging and nagging definitions are aplenty everywhere, but almost all of us are nags, without even realizing it.

And the worst part, your partner may be dealing with your nagging silently, until one day, they decide to burst it all out.

What is the real meaning of nagging?

From Adam? From Eve? Genetic patterns? From the cradle? Or is it because a man is a man and a woman is a woman?

Nagging is as old as families. Solomon the Wise in all his wisdom laments, ‘a nagging wife goes on and on like the drip drip of the rain’ and he continues in his book Proverbs, that “it’s better to stay outside on the roof of your home than to live inside with a nagging wife”.

Having had a thousand wives and wisdom to boot, one would suppose that he would be quite the expert on such domestic issues. But he fights shy of offering us a definite solution and the nagging still continues down the ages… drip, drip, drip.

Are you a nag?

So you’ve told him again and again till you’re going blue in the face and he still hasn’t picked up the clothes from the cleaners.

You’ve coaxed, you’ve pestered, you’ve demanded, you’ve rephrased in a million different ways, ranging from sarcasm to ultimatums, but he still continues to do whatever you’ve asked him not to. [Read: Anger management in marriage]

Or worse, if you are one of those beast-of-burden sorts who will uncomplainingly shoulder most of the chores, in quiet desperation or active frustration, which then manifests in other acts of marital dissonance like bitching, and unreasonable mood swings. But if you just feel dead inside, what you need is a wakeup call!

Okay, so he won’t be bothered to share in the responsibilities of the traditional roles of homemaking, and you’ve managed to keep the peace. Yes, but at what price? And who pays the price? Life is too short for you to be shortchanged.

If either of these scenarios seems vaguely familiar, then you need help.

Understanding the meaning of nagging and how it works

Many faults that incite nagging can be directly traced to a bad upbringing or rather a spoilt and pampered child, their stubbornness, their insensitivity, their selective hearing et al. Consequently when they engage in a relationship with another adult, the gears don’t mesh causing abrasion. Nags are never born, they are made!

Parents, more often than not never realize the gravity of their blunder when they fail to teach their little darlings to deal with the consequences of the little choices they make. [Read: How to deal with hate]

The reason behind why we nag

When the honeymoon lights fade they are replaced by sunlight, when the candlelight flickers, the fluorescent bulbs are switched on, and the glare reveals the not-so-perfect imperfections of your partner. [Read: The right age to get married]

In an effort to perfect your partner, the nagging begins. Primarily in the mind, but slowly it finds a voice. If you are a newlywed or head over heels in love, a word of caution. Sow carefully, because relationship patterns are always set early in a marriage and it’s difficult to switch roles and chores later.

Though women forage far and wide, storming hitherto male bastions, the home is still primarily the woman’s domain and control issues come to the forefront when this is threatened. Sometimes women, who nag consciously or unconsciously, also sabotage their partners’ efforts to participate in household chores or child rearing by criticizing or sneering at their mates in an effort to show who is boss.

This is a conundrum that women have to resolve in their minds before they can desist. A common factor and by far the most universal cause that triggers nagging are the unhealthy habits of a spouse. Generally however, nagging is prompted when a partner feels that his or her valid claims said or unsaid, have not been responded to adequately. [Read: How to be happy in life]

The real meaning of nagging is beyond the dictionary, it is experienced in every household where one partner tries to dominate the other subconsciously, or while trying to get a point across.

Source: lovepanky.com

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