A popular pastor that I follow quotes that s*x can be considered 3 things, “gross, god, or a gift.” I believe this to be very true in our day, due to how s*x is overrated outside of marriage and underrated within marriage. It is gross to those that have been taught their entire life that s*x is bad and will cause people to look at you differently. For some it can be become a god, taking over your time, money, and relationships in order to appease it. But, it is God’s purpose for s*x to be seen as a gift. s*x is a gift to be shared with your spouse within the confines of marriage. My wife and I, by the grace of God, were both virgins at the moment of saying, “I Do”, to one another on our wedding day.
Based on our first hand experience, here are 4 benefits of waiting until marriage to have s*x.
1. Keeps God at the center of your relationship
Honoring God in our relationship was my wife and I’s supreme goal and saying no to s*x made that goal easily accomplish-able. God is the inventor of marriage, which means you need Him in your marriage in order to have a healthy one. The stages before you say “I Do’ are the most crucial for laying a solid foundation for your marriage. Establishing a no s*x boundary will keep you focused on the important aspects of a courting relationship. Yes, the desire to have s*x will come, but with God, you will be able to have the strength to resist temptation. Trusting God in your relationship will help you to make a confident decision when you feel that person may be the one you desire to marry.
2. You learn how to talk it out before you walk it out
Communication has always been and will always be one of the key components of a healthy relationship. My wife and I had a long distance relationship, so the majority of our time spent before marriage was over Skype or on the phone. It was one of the hardest things I had ever done, but it was so worth it. We really learned each other on so many levels, and when we did see one another the boundaries we had set in place kept us focused on enjoying one another communicatively versus physically. Early s*xual satisfaction in a relationship delays you from discovering key areas of the relationship such as the ability to commit, compatibility, and agreement on future goals.
3. Protects you from being attached before you say “I Do”.
There are only a few things that can attach you to someone for the rest of your life and two of those is a child together and s*x. Children are a blessing from the Lord, but can also be a challenge to raise in hard circumstances. Protect yourself from this by agreeing to wait until marriage to have s*x. Another attachment that can form through s*xual activity is a soul tie. s*x was created by God to tie that couple together forever. But when done outside of marriage, the same effect happens. But now it’s an illegitimate tie versus a covenantal tie. s*x outside of marriage may feel good in that moment, but that’s all you will be left with after that night is over. If the relationship doesn’t work out, then breaking it off will be much easier if there hasn’t been a spiritual soul tie through s*x.
4. Incomparable s*x within marriage.
You can guarantee that if you abstain from having s*x during your courting stage that the value you place upon one another will last your entire life. This value adds volumes to your s*x life in marriage. Studies show that those that wait to have s*x are happier in the long run. I do not look at my wife like a piece of meat, but a treasure worth being handled with tender care. I proved that to her by denying my flesh, and leading the stand for our purity. Our wedding night was the most beautiful encounter as we exchanged our gifts to each other. Our marriage was established on a sure foundation with God in the center of it all. Married people have the best s*x!
Even if you have already had s*x in a previous relationship that doesn’t disqualify you from making the decision to abstain until you are married. If you are in a sexually active relationship now, but desire to change things, then pray for God to give you wisdom as you approach your girl/boyfriend. I guarantee you it will be worth it in the end.