Sex is the highest form of expressing love. Apart from its procreative role, sex gives many physical and mental benefits. Studies have also shown sex resolves most conflicts in a relationship. A good sexual life is therefore a good indicator of the health of a relationship.
Sex, however, does not put a premium on ignorance. No matter how much partners love each other, they suffer for lack of knowledge about sex. If you fill your mind with myths, failure is inevitable.
Sexual myths of Ghanaians
Sex is for a man only. Many Ghanaian men see sex as a birthright to show how strong they are. They are therefore completely self-focused. And the woman is expected to play corpse in bed.
Recently a man divorced his Wife for showing ecstacy during sex. He saw her as a spoilt woman and a thief who 'stole' what was reserved for him. It is to ensure man's monopoly that today about 140 million people in Ghana and globally are victims of Female Genital Mutilation (FGM).
In fact today in every five minutes a female in Ghana or elsewhere becomes a victim of FGM. Female orgasm is basically through stimulation of the clitoris. If this clitoris is removed, orgasm is terminated. She dies inside, loses her very womanhood and becomes an insensitive sexual tool to be used by a man.
Fact is males and females have analogous sexual organs connected to similar nerves. Done right, a male and female can enjoy sex to the same level and intensity. Infact unlike a man, a woman is capable of multiple orgasms in one "round."
Size of male organ
Among primates, human beings have the largest size of male organ. At rest, most male organs measure 3-5 inches from the base. Note that there is no correlation between the size of a man and his male organ. A fat six foot man may therefore have a smaller male organ than a thin five foot man.
An erected male organ ranges from 4-7 inches long and 4-5 inches in circumference. Some men can achieve 100 per cent increase in size on erection. It is important to appreciate that the circumference of a male organ is far more important than its length in arousing pleasure in a woman because it stimulates the clitoris and lower third of a woman better. Length is not very important because after three inches she is almost sensitive. Studies show three inches circumference is more than sufficient.
This means that all males are adequately endowed. A man with a big male organ does not necessarily give his wife more pleasure than one with a small size and vice versa. This means it is not the size of the male organ that matters but what you do with what you have. Simply put, size does not matter.
Many mails come in from men who worry about size of their male organs. They worry merely out of self ego and spend on penile enlargement. For most men, size is a measure of masculinity. We are born competitive at work, sports and in sex. No wonder young boys compare sizes and even compete on who produce the longest stream of urine.
When a man looks at his male organ, he is looking down and any size may look unimpressive when you look down. When he looks across the same size may appear bigger. This is a principle in perspective.
Menstrual period
Many Ghanaians see the menstrual period as dirty, harmful and poisonous. They never have sex during this period.
In fact, in the older days, a woman in her period was not expected to cook for her husband. Instead she was to stay behind the house or "afikyire". Thus "ko afikyire" in Akan and similar phrases in other languages in Ghana literally meaning she has gone behind the house, which means a woman is in her period.
Fact is, menstrual flow is not poisonous and does not cause damage or infection. It does no harm the man or woman. Couples may, therefore, have sex when she is in her period. The missionary position is best during this time.
Some women enjoy sex better during their period, partly because they have reduced sexual inhibition from the fear of pregnancy. You must also appreciate that any woman in her fertility period especially those with irregular cycles is capable of getting pregnant during her period. Our myth about the menstrual period may have made some women barren.
Pregnancy
Some Ghanaians avoid sex during pregnancy for fear that the pregnancy will 'spoil'. After childbirth some stay apart for several months to allow the woman to 'dry'. The fact is, except medically advised, sex is safe at all stages of pregnancy and about four weeks after delivery.
Sex is God's greatest gift to couples.
He designed our bodies for it and commanded us to use this gift to enhance marriage. Sex, in marriage is, therefore, holy and an act of worship as we do what God has commanded us to do.
Good lovers are, however, not born. They are made by learning and doing. Push away myths. Let sex be mutual love; exploration, pleasure and excitement. With the right knowledge, attitude and techniques couples will reap the amazing benefits of sex.
Credit: John Boakye/Daily Graphic/Ghana
