While an initial spark is all it takes for a man to ask you out and crave you sexually, there needs to be something more for him to want to commit to you exclusively. He needs to feel that he can’t wait to make you his and that he can’t stand the thought of you being with anyone else. Rather than having “the talk” or giving him ultimatums, wouldn’t it be great if you could create that feeling so that he is the one asking you for a commitment? You can if you practice these simple steps:
1. DON’T keep bringing up the “commitment” discussion. When you feel anxious or worried about where your relationship is headed, it’s hard to resist wanting to know what he’s thinking. But constantly trying to talk with him about commitment feels stressful to him and will only make him dig in his heels and retreat — even if he was on the verge of committing all on his own. So, no matter how much you’re dying to know what he’s thinking, resist the temptation to bring up this tender topic.
2. DON’T try convincing him The more you try to make a case for how great you are as a couple, the more he feels cornered and manipulated. Your reasoning feels like criticism to him and makes him unable to share his true feelings. That’s certainly not the vibe you want to create in a loving relationship. A man falls in love when he feels like he can make you happy by being himself and sharing the deepest parts of who he is. By rejecting those parts, you make him feel wrong and cause him to protect his true feelings — and his heart — from connecting with yours.
3. DO share your good feelings When you feel good with a man, let him know! By opening up and sharing your feelings, you allow him to connect to you and the positive experience you are sharing. It makes him feel good that he makes you feel good, and he’ll want more of that good stuff. As you continue to lay a stronger foundation of positive feelings, it’s only natural that he will see you as a necessary and beautiful part of his life — and he’ll want to make sure you stay in it.