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- Don’t think about what you are going to say next while the other person is talking.
- Ask follow-up questions. This demonstrates that you care.
- Consider how the other person wants you to respond.
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- Don’t give advice until asked.
- Try to identify some of your emotions and take a chance: Express them!
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- Don’t get upset if the other person seems curt, especially in email or text. This can be simply a matter of style.
- Draw someone out with empathic guesses. ‘I imagine you were frustrated.’
- Be calm, so the other person feels it is safe to share emotions.
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- Edit your story. Pare down emotion and give only essential details. Perhaps prepare bullet points.
- Tell him how you want him to respond. ‘More than advice, I need you to just listen.
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