[Advice Needed] I have Never Felt His Manhood Inside Of Me, How Did I Get Pregnant?
I have been dating my man for the past 7 years. he was broke and I gave him money to travel abroad. Later, he asked me to come over and we are together now. I enrolled for my Masters programme there and it has not been easy to get a part time job. Whenever, I ask for money for my school fees, he feels reluctant to give me and he is very selfish. Its not that I like asking for money from him, I like being independent, I ask for money from him because I don’t have a job.
Sometimes ago, I got pregnant for him and I did not even know how because I have never felt his manhood inside of me. Later, I did an abortion and I felt guilty for doing that.
Also, his parents are always demanding for money from him, they are not working and his siblings are not helping matters. In fact, my mom is not in support of his parents total dependency on him because my sister marriage is going haywire because of this same issues from her in-laws.
Moreover, I checked his facebook out of curiosity and discovered he flirts on facebook, I saw unclad pictures of ladies on his phone. We are both Christians, but his father is diabolic.
Now, he wants to marry me next year and I am very confused. We both love each other, but I don’t just know what to do. Should I quit or continue?
I don’t appreciate the fact that you had an abortion and I don’t support s*x before marriage as well, but then the deed has been done. But then, you should not be surprised that you got pregnant, despite the fact that you did not feel his manhood inside of you, his sperms definitely found their way inside of you and met your eggs which result in fertilization and then your pregnancy. Well, I think you two need to see a medical doctor. He might actually not be experienced in the s*x act, if you did not feel him inside you. I think he might not really have a full knowledge on how to have s*x with a lady. You should discuss this with him in a way that he would understand you, tell him exactly what you feel and then you suggest that the two of you should see a doctor – a gynecologist!
Also, you talked about his stinginess, well….. I think you should also communicate this with him, let him understand that you have no source of income and he should try to understand your situation. I also suggest that you get a job….you can work while you do your masters. Men respect ladies that are independent, and if it is so hard for you to get a job, you can tell him to give you some money, so that you can start a business which would serve as a source of income, and make you independent.
Since you two are Christians, his father’s religion would not really matter. If your man is a true Christian, you need not to worry about what his father practise. This is because he would not accept his father’s belief, if he is really convinced about his own belief. And of course, you are not getting married to the father, but the son….you only need to be prayerful.
You also mentioned that you are scared that his parents would continually seek his financial assistance. Well, he is their son and I don’t think you should stop him from reaching out to his parents. If he wants to step up a business for them, it is all up to him. Why should you get worried about his parents not working? Why should you bother that they demand money from their own child? The fact that your sister experienced issues with his in-law does not mean you would too. Put your mind at rest.
And about your findings on facebook, you should confront him and let him know you are aware of all that is going on. Ask him questions. Ask him why he flirts on facebook and what he really wants from them.
And you talk about not knowing if to go into the marriage or not, I think you need too sit him down and talk to him about all these things you mentioned. Communication is the key! Let him know of your fears and thoughts. Listen to what he has to say….and then you can make your conclusion. Also, look deep down within, are you convinced about him? Do you think you see a future with him? I think you also need to be prayerful. Pray well to know if God really wants him for you, involve your spiritual leader and other Christians that are fervent. If you have doubts and fears about getting married to him, I think you should hold on till you are sure he is the one you really want. If you are not convinced about him, if you know you would not be happy with him, do not marry him….a broken relationship is better than a broken marriage.
I wish you the best.