Why does she take so long? I mean seriously by the time she gets warmed up and by the time she reaches climax the game will be over!!”
This just in…this is what many men have been thinking when the time comes to have s*x with their wives. Yep ladies, the same way you are thinking about how “tired” you are or that “headache” you have right before s*x, men have thoughts as well. Let’s be honest, even in some of the best marriages s*x can sometimes become a mental task. And sometimes we put it off so much that it becomes merely an after thought. That’s unfortunate because s*x is a key factor in keeping couples connected. Truth is people don’t “grow apart” sexually people just don’t put in the effort it takes to stay connected. Let’s discuss some s*xual efforts that can keep you connected!
1. Slow Down!!!
We can’t keep treating this act of intimacy as if it’s a power nap that we fit in between classes (remember those from college?). Sometimes s*x becomes less enjoyable because we rush through it while only thinking about what task we have to get done next. We don’t allow our minds to be in the moment, but good s*x is heavily dependent on mental focus. Slow down and take your time just like you used to in the beginning.
2. Tell your partner what you like and how you like it!
Often times we think that our partners are mind readers and should “just know” everything that we want. NOT! As we grow older, what we “like” changes and it would be nice if you updated your partner. Ladies, a man that can’t figure out how to satisfy you will eventually get frustrated and instead of focusing on you he will become a selfish lover. So OPEN YOUR MOUTH (no pun intended) and say what you want and how you want it.
3. Do it somewhere different!
You will be surprised how much different s*x will be just by changing the location. The change will increase that dopamine in your brain. I’m not saying you have to go to a hotel (although that works too), but I am saying get out of that bedroom. Try the washroom, the living room, kitchen, garage, backyard, driveway (in a car of course) whatever…just make it DIFFERENT!
4. Take time to mentally stimulate your mate.
Start sending some sexy text messages during the day that may lead to that night. Before she leaves in the morning whisper in her ear all the things you want to do to her. Leave some sexy notes laying around in places where he can find them. If you travel for work have a little phone s*x or FaceTime s*x! (#teamiphone)
5. Positively reinforce your mate
If your mate is doing something you really like, you need to let him or her know it. Everyone wants to know they are satisfying their mate… so stop being stingy with the compliments! If he put it down last night, tell him he put it down! If she wore you out last night, send her a text about it the next day…anything that acknowledges a job well done. We are all more likely to repeat behaviors when we feel like it’s something we excel in. Tell him “baby I love it when you do….!” If you want to try something different tell him instead of getting frustrated because it’s the “same way every time” Closed mouths don’t get fed!
6. Connect without s*x.
Just come sit on his lap from time to time. The next time y’all watch a movie offer to rub her down. Rub her feet, rub his head, kiss her neck, and rub his inner thigh. The point is that you need to be touching! Constant touch works wonders for couples and makes s*x easier to get to
7. Fellas, from time to time bring the beast mode out!
Your woman still wants to see that alpha male come out of you from time to time. She wants that beast that you used to be to come back out to the point where she says “what got into you last night!?” Give her that grade A…you know the action that’s so intense that when you finish you go stand in the mirror and hit a superman pose! HA! It will do wonders for your s*xual confidence and she will be the beneficiary of a good nap or a good night’s sleep. I know you still got it in you. And if you don’t, get that testosterone checked.
s*xual connection requires effort and communication from BOTH. There are too many sexless marriages and disconnected couples…get back in the sack….literally!