7 Habits of Highly Effective Couples
Want an effective and heaven-on-earth relationship? Follow these simple tips.
1. Slow and Steady Wins the Race
Love at first sight is an exciting prospect, but don’t count out someone you’ve been friends with. In fact, being friends with someone beforehand can lead to a stellar relationship because you’ve had time to get to know each other in a pressure-free situation. You can get a preview of how they act when faced with a variety of scenarios, something you won’t have on a first date with someone you’ve just met.
2. Establish Mutual Respect
Respect is simple but powerful. Mutual respect for each other is truly like oxygen in a relationship. With it, you are able to navigate daily love-life occurrences with relative ease. Without it, you will be the textbook definition of a “struggling couple.” Having respect for your guy will amplify the qualities you love about him and keep you from being nitpicky about the small stuff. It will also keep arguments from going down a hurtful path with name-calling and contempt for one another.
3. Know Where You’re Heading
It can be tricky to bring up “The Future” with a guy, but it’s an important step to take if you want to stay on the same page. Make sure you know each other’s overall goals for the present, like where you see yourself after college. And, it doesn’t hurt to talk about the big picture: being married (or not), having a family (or not), and having a job (hopefully). Are you planning on staying in a relationship? What will happen when you graduate? Do you want to be more family- or career-driven?
4. Thou Shall Not Lie, Thou Shall Not Cheat
It’s simple enough to tell the truth, but when aspects of your relationship are traveling down a bumpy path, dishonesty may not be far behind. A loving, healthy relationship puts honesty on a high pedestal right where it belongs! A little lie may seem insignificant at the time but once it is found out, a seed of doubt is planted in your partner’s mind that has the potential to grow over time. As for cheating? That is the atomic bomb in any relationship.
5. Use Your Words
Yeah, yeah. Communication. It’s the classic cliché of relationship advice but it’s there for a reason. The most loyal of lovers are open with each other about their past, present, and future. They don’t play games or act like everything is fine when it isn’t. Not being open about your feelings will only leave your guy in the dark and create more problems: “If you are mad about something let him know, because otherwise they are just going to think you are in a (bad) mood, and stay completely oblivious,” says Katelyn, a junior at James Madison University.
Sometimes it takes some courage to communicate, because it involves being vulnerable. But once you do, you will find yourself in a stronger relationship.
6. It’s the Little Stuff That Counts
Have you ever been broken up with for what seemed like a silly reason? Chances are, there was more behind it. A bunch of little relationship mistakes can add up over time, and just one could be the tipping point. We’re all human and we will all make mistakes from time to time. The way your relationship will survive them is if you make up for them in little ways so that you never get to that “last straw” point
7. Kiss Often
Make no mistake, the physical aspect of your relationship is very important. A relationship that seems great in the verbal department could still suffer if you don’t keep up some intimacy. Want a quick fix? Kissing is the first step. According to this study by The Washington Post, kissing promotes a closer relationship. A kiss releases oxytocin in your brain, a chemical that is related to interpersonal bonding. Added bonus? Studies also show that it relieves stress.