Do you know of a woman who wants to feel like they take second place in your life? I didn’t think so. As wives, we want to know we are the number one lady in your life. You may say, “She already knows I love her, isn’t that enough?” To be honest no, it isn’t. To say you love someone and have little to no corresponding action is not enough. Love is spoken, demonstrated, felt, reflected in your speech, and seen in your actions. With this, the opposite is indeed true as well, a lack of love can be heard in your speech and demonstrated by your non-action. Letting her know she is still number one is not hard to do, although it does take action on your part. Here are 5 ways to show her she is number one in your life:
- Find out what puts a smile on her face. Is it a loving kiss before leaving for work each day or holding hands as you walk through the mall? Figure it out.
- Find out her primary love language. This is the demonstrated action that really speaks to her and fuels her fire. It could be receiving small gifts or acts of service like doing the dishes. Check out the book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman and figure out her love language.
- Find out what causes her to doubt her position in your life. What is it that can make her feel you place other people or things before her? Does your mother’s desires outweigh hers? Are you more concerned about her feelings that your own wife’s? Do you make decisions that benefit the household you left versus the one you live in now? She shouldn’t be in a position where her needs are down played because of other family members. Figure out what makes her doubt her position in your life and if it is something you are doing stop it.
- Stand by her when things are good and when they are tough. Let her know you have her back, front and sides. She should feel protected and safe when she is with you. Don’t let others mistreat her. Yes, there comes a time when you must choose a side. The attitude that, “they didn’t say or do anything to me” or “that is between y’all, I don’t have anything to do with that” is crazy. What someone does to your wife…they do to you as well if the two of you are truly one. Figure out how to be there for her and then be there.
- Put some action behind your love. Love without action is dead, just as faith without works is dead. Love without action is dead, just like a body without breath is dead. Love without an expression is dead, just like a womb that no longer produces fruit is dead. If your love is alive, figure out how to express it. Then express it over and over and over and over again. Don’t stop.
Expressing love to some men comes easily, for others it is a challenge and does not feel natural. No matter the case, the responsibility to your wife remains the same. Are you up for the challenge or will you let someone else step in and fill the shoes you should be walking in? If it were a football game or whatever your sport of choice, you would be in it to win it. You wouldn’t even enter the playing field if you did not expect to win. Why should it be any different in your marriage? Now is the time to get in the game. Act like you are in it to win it.