Marriage is considered as a step in life towards happiness and peace. It is a strong bond that unites two people forever. But at times, this bond becomes unbearable and the commitment turns into a burden. Usually, couples feel that it is things like cheating, fights, independent lifestyle, etc. that strain their relationship. However, there is more than what meets your eyes. Some things can be so small that you might not notice them at first. And these seemingly small things can be the ones to wreak havoc in your ‘happily ever after’ paradise. Let us tell you 5 such common relationship mistakes that might even lead to divorce. Don’t worry, we also tell you how you can mend your ways.
1. Taking ‘selflessness’ for granted
In marriage, altruism, also known as self-sacrifice or selflessness, is an idealistic word that everybody loves to hear. You feel comfortable and happy when you know that your spouse is ready to do anything to fulfil your wishes without caring for his or her own needs. At times, you may start taking your partner’s selfless behaviour for granted, knowingly or unknowingly. Remember that every individual wants to feel important and expects respect from his or her better half. For a happy married life it is essential for both the partners to feel confident to express emotions and live with self-esteem. Each one should be able to clearly state his or her views and opinions when a decision is taken in the family. Suppression of desires and needs can never lead to happiness. It is essential to speak up about your preferences and express your ideas in a tactful manner instead of getting into arguments.
2. Becoming negative or sarcastic
Another common mistake in marriage is that of negativity. Many people express negativity towards their spouse’s views and opinions, pass sarcastic comments, mock them or show negative gestures to display their frustration and disagreement. Negativity leads to weakening of trust and belief on the spouse and distance is built between the two. To build up a good relationship it is wise to be aware of your own gestures and speech patterns, and put effort to eliminate all negativity from your mind. This would help to keep negativity away from your actions and words. When you don’t like your spouse’s action or behaviour always give a feedback which is not “you” centric but use ‘I” centric. Accusing someone or pointing fingers always leads to arguments and fights, so express your opinions in a calm and cool way
3. Leaving the intimacy behind
Physical intimacy in a marriage is important as it strengthens the emotional bond between the two partners. Lack of physical intimacy can lead to negativity and distance in the relationship, which can even lead to divorce. It is not just lovemaking, but also kisses and holding hands that mean a lot in married life. These little physical contacts are important for you to establish a strong relationship. Little acts, like cuddling and hugging can also become the keys to a long and happy married life.
4. Not defining the relationship roles
Couples spend months, and at times even years, to plan their wedding. They also spend time to get to know each other’s likes and interests during the courtship phase. But, what most couples fail to do is define their post-wedding roles. They expect their partner to take on the roles defined by the society or what they have seen in their family, without realising whether the other person is comfortable in doing so or not. Say, your wife might not be comfortable being the one who waits on you hand and foot. Or, your hubby might not be comfortable with your work timings after you start a family. Spend time to talk to each other about what you are comfortable with doing in your relationship. What you want from your relationship is not just a pre-wedding talk, it is also something that you need to keep revisiting again and again to make sure that your spouse is comfortable in the relationship.
5. Neglecting the ‘bond’
When you are dating, you invest a lot of time and energy in your relationship. But, once you are married, you forget about it all. You get busy with your professional lives and family, so much so that you start neglecting your significant other. This especially becomes even more evident when a couple distances each other emotionally and physically, citing work and children as the reason. Neglecting the ‘bond’ is the key culprit that tears two people apart. No matter for how long you have been married for or how busy you are, always make some time for one another. Have at least a meal together every day or take your sweetheart out on a date every other weekend. Do not neglect the bond that you two share and never take it for granted. To maintain a happy married life it is essential for both partners to put some extra effort to warm up and nourish this relationship of love. So, save your relationship from these silly mistakes before it turns disasterous!