“Stop trying to be everything to everyone!” I can hear husbands all over the world right now telling their wives this …as they are frustrated with their wives stretching themselves too thin and being taken advantage of. One of our duties as husbands is to protect our wives not just from others, but from themselves. But sometimes this is an issue that we have the hardest time protecting our wives from. Ladies while we know y’all are super women and can carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. But sometimes all of that weight wears you down and you don’t even know it. Sometimes that weight comes from a few common places so don’t get mad at us as husbands when we have to pull you back! Here are a few examples:
Okay, we get that your family is extremely important to you. But sometimes you aren’t just being good to your family, you are being used and taken advantage of. Why do you always have to be responsible for everyone else’s problems, everyone else’s children, and the savior for everyone else’s financial struggles? The bottom line is that any good relationship, family included, should be built off of reciprocation and many times as your husbands we know that your nurturing side will make that reciprocation irrelevant.
Organizations and Church
Do you really have to be the president of the PTA, your sorority, 3 church ministries, and the team mom for every sport? While you may be a natural born leader, one of the things that comes with leadership is time and stress. The mere fact that you are always in leadership positions means that everyone is requiring the most of your mental, physical, and sometimes emotional energy. And you don’t have unlimited supplies of that. You can be a part of organizations, but the problem comes when you try to be the head honcho in all of them. Sometimes it’s okay to follow and not lead….besides your family has begun to feel like you’re the queen of everything except your house and they want you back!
Ladies we know you want to be able to give your children the best of everything: The best schools, the best extracurricular activities, the best vacations and the newest, hottest gadgets, etc. But sometimes, less is more. Your children will always want the world, but sometimes as husbands it’s our job to step in and remind you that you only have 24 hours in a day and we don’t have unlimited money…so your children will have to learn the power of choice and being satisfied. Don’t worry, we will break the news to them so you don’t have to seem like the bad guy.
Now this is normally an area where, as men, we need our wives to pull us back because we get in too deep sometimes. But with so many career oriented women that are doing great in their careers, we have to share this responsibility. We know you have put so much into your career, but sometimes you put so much into it that you’ve forgotten about yourself, your own health, and connecting with your family. Your boss is putting more on you so he or she can spend more time with his or her family. So now, you find yourself being the overtime queen while the people important to you are the “under time” family. Sometimes as men and as women we have to step back from being CEO’s and step back into being spouses and parents again. This article is by no means a way for men to dictate what their wives should or shouldn’t be involved in or to limit their ambition, so let’s not turn it into that battle. What this is meant to achieve is letting our wives know that as your husbands we care enough about you to want to protect you, your sanity and our marriages. The last thing you want is for everyone on the outside to love you while your husband and children slowly become resentful. The truth is that the most valuable things you have are your time and your health and we want the best for you. Sometimes it’s not that we are jealous, it’s that we care. P.S. Men some of you are guilty as well so notice when your wife is trying to reel you back in as well. That’s for a later piece though….