For 99.999% of us, social media is part of our daily lives. We wake up and immediately grab our phones, mindlessly scrolling through Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. We use apps for just about everything, and we thrive on being constantly connected. For the most part, social media just makes everything easier, and I’m never, ever going to be the girl who tells you to “disconnect” from the world for a week or something seriously crazy like that…you’d have to pry my own iphone from my hands first. With that said, social media can take it’s toll on your romantic relationships, if you don’t proceed with a bit of caution.
First, it’s crucial to remember that anything you say online can never be permanently erased, and that prospective dates and love interests WILL absolutely judge you based on what you write on the internet. Social media isn’t a free for all and this is where a little restraint comes in. It’s not necessary to update Twitter and Facebook with your every thought and feeling, to complain about the annoying things that happen all day long or, worse, to share personal details about past dates or relationships. Twitter isn’t your journal! Think about how hurtful it would be for someone you’re dating to find that you’ve been complaining about them online, instead of talking to them about the issue. Everyone needs a good venting session from time to time; this is best done over happy hour margaritas, not on social media.
Put the Phone Down
If you’re on a date or spending time with your significant other, put your phone away! There is nothing worse than trying to talk to someone who is distracted by Instagram. Take a deep breath and realize that you have a hot, living, breathing human being right in front of you, who wants to get to know you, not hear about your friend’s status updates. Getting distracted by all the things that are happening online prevents you from living in the moment, and when you don’t give your real-life, and the people in it, the attention they deserve, it can be detrimental to your relationships. This state of constant connection is also a breeding ground for jealousy within your relationship (“Why are you still friends with your ex?”, etc) and,eventually in some cases can lead to breakups and divorce.
Don’t Fall Into the Comparison Trap
Social Media is a great way to keep up to date with what your friends and family are up to, but it can also breed major insecurity. When your friends keep gloating about the latest sweet thing their boyfriends did for them, or taking selfies on the romantic trips they seem to be always taking, or the countless date nights they share, it’s easy to take a look at your own relationship and feel like it doesn’t measure up. Don’t go there though! People generally only share the good and glamorous things that happen to them, not the fight that occurred right before that date night, the boring Tuesday nights spent on the couch in sweats, or the vacations from hell. Remember that a filtered photo or 140 character tweet never tells the whole story, and that is why it’s so important to focus on the only story that matters-yours! Here is a little challenge: The next time you see a photo of the romantic date night your best friend’s boyfriend surprised her with, double tap to “like” it, and then toss your phone to the side and go hug your own man, with no need whatsoever for a selfie!