Not exactly sure how to manage your love life? Here are some dating tips that are sure to keep you hip!
1. Don’t expect to meet your husband on the first date
Many women go into their first date expecting to know right then and there if Mr. Man has potential to be their husband. Wrong! Expecting anything more than a great time on date number one is asking too much and places a burden on a relationship that has yet to take form.
It takes several months to determine if he is “the one.” Go into your first meeting with the expectation of making a new friend. Let’s start there. If you’re expecting more and he fails to meet that expectation, you will be disappointed. No one wants that! And women often prefer their mates to be their best friend, so take some time to build that friendship. Couples who start as friends often have a more sustainable relationship than those who connect on the superficial level.
Check your attitude at the door
As African-American women, many of us have been unfairly labeled as “angry black women.” And when a woman has been worn down by bad dates, bad relationships, and overall bad experiences, it becomes harder for her to escape this label because dating can be downright frustrating!
Regardless of race, there is certainly enough to be angry about when it comes to today’s dating landscape, but it is important to remember that the sins of one man is not a reflection of all men. As hard as it may be to let your guard down, one must be willing to check their attitude at the door if real love is what they seek. It is not his fault that the last man cheated on you; give him a chance. What you look like on the outside is only a fraction of what matters to a man, and if your attitude is off, don’t count on a second date.
Dress for success
Women often underestimate how much their visual presentation matters to a man. There is a saying in business that you should dress for the job you want. The same can be said for the man you hope to meet. No matter what a man will tell you, they all want the pretty picture. Embrace your femininity by wearing a flattering – but not overtly sexy – dress.
Colors are always encouraged to keep you memorable. Try reds, pinks, greens, or blues and stay as much away from black as possible. What you wear should be a reflection of your personality and black is much too serious for a first date.
Your hair should always be done to perfection and nails be perfectly manicured. Avoid heavy makeup as it often distracts more than it attracts. Accentuate your features and always wear heels! Men love women who are sexy, confident, and tall.
First dates can be awkward, but they don’t always have to be. I often suggest that singles partake in activity dates rather than your standard dinner and a movie. An activity date may involve riding bikes, hiking, indoor sky diving, boating, wine tasting, etc. Dates of this nature encourage conversation and serves as an ice breaker.
Try to find activities that you’d both enjoy and there will be plenty to discuss. Plus, there is no better way to determine if the gentleman is the kind of man you want to spend more time with. If he can’t handle the fact that you can’t ride a bike or are afraid of heights, then you’ll know more immediately that he is not right for you.
I have seen and experienced my share of dating no no’s, but the greatest I’ve witnessed to date is with a man who asked if he could shorten his date with my client because he had to get back home by a certain time to walk his dog. No wonder he is still single! If a man is unable to commit two hours for a dinner date, then he is a man who deserves to be alone.
Dating takes commitment. If you expect someone to risk falling for you, you have to be willing to take a few risks of your own. If you can’t commit your time then don’t waste someone else’s.