8 People Share Stories of their Bad Ma$turbation Experience with Banana, Shampoo…

You think masturbation is an easy task? Wait till you read these experiences. For the average guy, the bathroom is where everything happens and for the average girl, the bedroom is where it happens. However, as people grow, they tend to try out news things and that is when you might get burnt. These 8 people share their worse experience with masturbation.

With shampoo

During my first semester at the University of Ghana, I found that I had a lot of time to masturbate. One night I decided to masturbate, so I put some porn in the DVD player and tried to find some lotion to use as lube. I couldn’t find any, so I figured that I could use some shampoo. While I was whacking off it felt really good! The shampoo had a tingling sensation on my cock. Unfortunately, I did not know that the shampoo dries your skin out. My cock’s skin got really tight and started to crack, much like chapped lips. It hurt like hell as the skin fell off my cock to reveal new pink skin underneath. I’m fine now, but I always make sure I have some KY on hand!

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With toothpaste

I was experimenting with different lubes, and one time I tried toothpaste. At first it was strange yet nice, but when I was done some of the toothpaste went inside me. It burned like hell for about 20 minutes, and I was in the shower trying to cool it.

With homemade lube

I like to masturbate with lubricant. One day, I wanted to use lubricant but the tube had been empty for quite some time, so I decided to make my own lube. Instead of simply using petroleum jelly, I mixed together Palmolive dish soap and water. I began to feel a painful irritation, but in the excitement, I didn’t stop until I’d cum. The next morning, my balls seemed just like they where grilled. They were covered in red spots and my skin was textured like melted plastic wrap. I didn’t know what to do, so I did nothing, thinking it would be okay in a couple of days. Not exactly! I was pulling off dead skin for at least a week!!

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With chewing gum

One day I was chewing some Big League Chew gum. It felt so soft and gooey in my mouth that I decided to rub it on my dick. It was the worst decision I ever made! As I was rubbing it on my dick, the gum got caught on my pubes. I got in the shower and spent like an hour trying to get the stuff off. Then I finally decided just to cut my pubes off with some scissors. I had no pubes left.

With a candle

I was masturbating with a candle like I usually do, but I couldn’t find my usual one, so I decided to use a teal-colored one. After cumming multiple times I pulled the candle out and realized it was faded white…. I went to the bathroom to clean myself up and my cum was teal. I’ll never use that candlestick again; now I only use white ones!

With a shampoo bottle

This actually happened a couple months ago. I do not own any sex toys, so when I want to masturbate my anus, I have to do it with my finger. Well, one night a couple months ago, I decided to try to find something a little bigger. I found one of those travel-size shampoo bottles under my bathroom sink. I lubricated it and started it using it on myself. I was rather enjoying it, until my fingers became too slippery and the bottle was sucked out of my hands and up into my rectum. When I tried to get it out, the bottle some how turned sideways and was stuck. I couldn’t go to the hospital since my mother works there. I just had to wait until it came out own, or I was able to get it. It took three days to get it out, and another seven days before I was able to fully sit down again. Never will I do that again

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With a banana

I started to explore different methods of masturbation, particularly focusing on the integration of phallic objects into my routines. One night, as my family slept, I crept downstairs into the kitchen and stole a banana from the fruit basket. When I got back to my room, I began to masturbate with it. Eventually I climaxed, and as I did, I felt/heard this odd “pop.” So I immediately attempted to pull the banana out. Upon some exertion, I found myself staring at half a banana; the entire thing had exploded from my bodily heat and the pressure of orgasm. I ended up spending nearly 20 minutes sitting on the toilet, trying vainly to push the other half of the banana out. Unfortunately, the stickiness of the hot mashed banana was impeding its path out, and it was too far up for me to reach. Eventually it slid out, and I spent a great deal of time in the shower trying to rid myself of the banana smell and stickiness … fortunately, I managed to keep quiet enough and not wake anyone. To this day, I have never used any other phallic-shaped foods to masturbate, nor can I stand to eat bananas anymore.

With a deodorant stick

One day I was masturbating with a deodorant stick with the top on. My pussy was so tight, though, that the top kept coming halfway off every time I pulled it out of me, so I put some tape around the top to keep it on. I put the deodorant stick in my pussy and went in and out and so on, and when I was finished, I saw that the tape had slipped off the deodorant cap while it was inside me. I don’t know what happened to that tape, but it was about five years ago and I’ve been to the gyno about 10 times and they say everything looks “just fine,” so maybe it came out sometime later and I didn’t know about it!

 

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