Your first year of marriage is the most exciting time of your life. It is the opportune time to lay a solid foundation for the rest of your life together. Over the course of your first year, the majority of your time will be spent learning one another, adjusting to new life schedules, and doing life together. While you are learning the ride of marriage, it is easy to shy away from preparing your marriage for the future, and also developing healthy habits.
Here are 3 actions that can destroy your marriage in the first year.
1. Living Day to Day
In the first year of your marriage it is imperative that you and your spouse set out vision for your life. Men, women love a man that has a plan, and she loves it even more when she is involved in that plan. By establishing a plan, you’re going to be more focused and encouraged to persevere during hard times. Going day to day opens the door to losing sight of why you got married in the first place, which then can lead to infidelity, unnecessary arguments, or unwise financial mistakes. The first year of marriage is ripe for God’s voice to speak clearly regarding His plans for your lives and marriage. Take that year to seek His face for vision regarding your careers, children, and financial decisions.
2. Hiding Your Issues
Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices.
Before marriage, you and your spouse were falling in love with one another’s most striking attributes. After you get married, you will be tempted to hide your issues from your spouse. No one is perfect, and we will never be perfect. It is through the love of Christ we’re confident to be honest about our problems. Learning how to be transparent with your spouse in the beginning lays a solid foundation for trust. Marriage brings out the worst in you, in order for you to be the best for your spouse.
3. Remaining Independent
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united with his wife, and they become one flesh.
When you say I do, you are committing to do something that sounds very romantic, but is one of the most difficult parts of marriage. That is the process of becoming one flesh. Becoming one requires much humility, trust, teamwork and a lot of communication. The inability to change can negatively affect your marriage quickly. When my wife and I assess the areas of our lives that we still treat as we did when we were single, we pray to God to help us to turn our minds from mine, to ours. Most are afraid of losing themselves, so they think they have to hold on to how they do things in order to keep who they are.
By attempting to hold on to yourself, you are holding out on your spouse. Let your spouse in on EVERYTHING. You are one flesh, which means nothing is no longer yours, but everything is ours. “This is mine” doesn’t exist, and if you’re using that phrase, ask yourself what is holding you back from seeing it as your spouses too.