Things That Happen Every Morning Before You Get To Work

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You’re sitting at your desk this morning scanning through Facebook instead of clearing your inbox.

It’s OK – you need to know which school friend’s having their second baby and spend several minutes deciphering your ex-boyfriend’s status – is he happy with his new girlfriend? Have they broken up? Is he planning on breaking up with her?

But let’s go back to the beginning: here’s how your morning started…

Your alarm goes off, you stare in disbelief and wondered what sort of hellish creature invented the 9-5.

You decided showering wasn’t a necessity – you’re going to snooze. You washed yesterday so it’s fine – no-one will notice. You did wash yesterday, right? 

Your alarm goes off again. You’ll be late for work, but you need 10 more minutes of sleep. Need it. You could die otherwise.

You spot a woman standing but can’t decide how old she is. You panic inside. You really like your seat. You’re tired. Is she really that old?

You creep into work at 9.14am.

You bump into your boss. You smell a bit, you have been rained on quite dramatically and you have a little flake of pastry on your chin. Your day has begun. Enjoy

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