No relationship is perfect. Every couple has problems and the longevity of the relationship is based on the two people in it. Is there really a manual on how to fix a relationship? Sure there are plenty of advice books out there, but nothing can fix the issues in your relationship unless both of you are committed to making it work. If you think you’re about to give up and you want advice how to fix a relationship, it might help to look at this checklist to see where the problems lie and determine if a solution is possible.
How well do you communicate? In most cases, lack of communication is one of the main issues in a relationship. This is most clearly seen when there is a conflict. According to experts, there are several types of conflict management styles:
- Avoidance: People who completely withdraw or avoid any type of confrontation
- Accommodation: People who easily give in to the demands of others to feel acceptance
- Competition: people who dominate a conversation and want to accomplish their goal at the expense of others
- Compromise: People who want to reach the middle ground
- Collaboration: Those people who want to find a positive solution for everyone involved in the problem
It is quite common for people in a relationship to have two different conflict management styles. If one person is so into being right and getting their point across without listening to their partner’s concerns, that could manifest into a huge issue. It helps to be an active listener and enter the conversation with an open mind. Nothing will ever get resolved if you only enter it to start a war. If you have been having major communication issues, sit down with your partner to see if you can resolve your communication differences and be open to flexing your style.
Honesty is the best policy Open communication and honesty depend on each other in order for a relationship to survive. If you’re not honest with your significant other, then you’re not communicating. If you’re not communicating how you feel, then you’re being emotionally dishonest. You won’t ever learn how to fix a relationship if you don’t have communication and honesty. We learn at a very young age that you should always tell the truth. This is especially important when you’re in a relationship with someone. Even the lack of communication can come off as being dishonest. Take for example two people who have been in a relationship for about a year. At first, it starts out as a casual thing. He picks her up from her apartment. They go out on a few dates. Sometimes he spends the night then goes home. Sometimes she spends the night at his place. A night at his place turns into a few nights a week. A few nights turn into a few weeks and so on. Eventually, they end up living together. There’s the possibility where she may feel that his lack of objection towards her living there indicates that he accepts it. In actuality, he may not feel completely comfortable with her being there but is too afraid to tell the truth and risk hurting her feelings. It may have been easier to admit this when it was just a couple nights a week, but now it’s been months. Men and women find themselves in similar predicaments all the time. The main reason why couples have issues with honesty is because they’re afraid of hurting the other person. Some people lie to protect themselves. A man and woman could be married for a number of years. Both people are completely faithful for the first couple of years. Then one person in the marriage has a one-night stand with one of their co-workers or a mutual friend. While the spouse believes everything is fine between them, the other person feels guilty and unhappy after having the affair. Does that person tell their spouse the truth or keep it a secret? Many people will say that the cover up is even more hurtful. Usually when people lie, it’s because they know something about the truth (whether it’s a past affair, not having feelings anymore, etc.) may negatively affect the person they’re keeping it from. It helps to be completely honest with your partner in order to work through any issues you have. If you have previously been dishonest in the relationship, be open with your partner so you can work through any tensions together.
Know what your worth is The best relationships require some kind of compromise or sacrifice—but for the good of the relationship. Your wants and needs should never take a backseat to that of your partner’s. A relationship is a two-way street. If you’re doing everything to please your partner, but they aren’t doing the same for you, you’re the one who is missing out on having a fulfilling relationship. In some relationships, we lose ourselves of who we are. Make your partner accountable to your feelings and desires. Don’t be afraid to let them know what you’re not receiving. Whether it’s more intimacy, financial or emotional support or even just doing more chores around the house, you deserve to be happy too. If he or she truly loves you and wants to make it work, they’ll do whatever it takes to please you too. That is what a good partner does. They will respect you more for being strong enough to bring it up compared to just letting it go and being a walk over. If neither of you can’t compromise to make each other happy, then the relationship can’t work. If you can’t be honest and communicate with each other, then it will only ruin the relationship. When you’re in a relationship, it means that you cannot work at it alone. You need to work together to fix it