A Hamburg player
Hamburg have adopted desperate measures to make sure they avoid relegation from the Bundesliga this season – after hiring a spiritual healer.
The German side are currently in the bottom three in the division, five points off safety, and facing up to life in the second tier for the first time in their history.
But the fight is not over yet, with the club bringing in spiritual wizard Joseph Kuhnert to help remove any bad vibes that might be hampering the team.
‘I bring body, soul and spirit back into harmony and accommodate the four elements,’ he explained.
‘I had a special coach who trained me in the storage of high energy mountain crystals. They will be arranged in certain patterns – the Flower of Life. Really, it’s pretty easy.’
Now many Hamburg fans might be preferring the team to concentrate on extra training or set piece work in their battle to beat the drop, but this is not the first time he’s been hired.
Hamburg gave Kuhnert a short-term contract in 2007 to help ‘balance the emotions’ of the squad during a rough period, and it worked.
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