It happened. It finally happened. You just got engaged–congratulations! That means you’ll soon be entering the world of weddings, which is fun, exciting… and full of potential etiquette breaches. The seconds, minutes and hours after your engagement are your first chance to make a big blunder, but not if you follow this easy guide. Here are 10 things you absolutely should not do right after he proposes.
Go straight into wedding planning mode. Even if you’ve been planning your wedding for the last 20 years, try to forget about it for now. You just got engaged! This is probably one of the best days of your life! Don’t muck it up with wedding planners and venues and guest counts. Remember, when you get engaged, you’re not just setting yourself up for a wedding: You’re preparing for a lifetime of marriage.
Tell your besties before your parents. Even if you think you can get away with this one… don’t try. Trust us. Your parents almost certainly (and rightfully) expect to be the first ones to know about your engagement. If you tell anyone else first, you’ll always run the risk of your parents finding out – which won’t be fun for anyone.
Update any social media before you’ve called your besties. Now that you’ve called your parents, you’re still not quite in the clear. Best friends will be more than unhappy if they learn about your engagement from a post on Facebook or – worse – hear about it from an acquaintance who happened to see it first. You don’t need to call everyone – just think about the people who you’d want a call from if the situation were reversed.
Post your ring on Facebook or Instagram. Even when the time is right to take to social media, you’re still not totally free. Avoid posting pictures of your ring–it’s just plain tacky. People want to know about your engagement, yes, but flaunting your ring just seems like bragging.
Complain about the proposal. Must we really explain this one? Your guy just did what’s pretty much the most romantic thing possible – do you really want to get all petty about how he did it? It certainly won’t make him feel good. Take this moment to just enjoy each other and your love.
Take your ring off. You just got engaged – show it off, baby! Taking your ring off is a no-no for a few reasons. First, it might hurt your guy’s feelings. You also put yourself at risk of losing the ring if you take it off, which would be dreadful. And finally, think about the tone you want to set for your marriage – isn’t it one where you and your husband are (symbolically) connected all the time?
Push your guy to talk about the wedding. If you’re one of those brides-to-be who’s had a binder chock full of wedding ideas for years, it can be pretty hard to resist going into wedding planning mode. If you can’t stop yourself, try not to involve your guy–he just planned a whole proposal, after all! Let him take some rest from the work, and talk to him instead about how special the proposal was, how much you love him and other easy, safe subjects.
Tell him you hate the ring. Again, this one should be obvious. Today, you love him, you love the ring, you love everything. (And if you don’t truly love it, think of a noncommittal phrase you can use instead like “it’s beautiful.”) In a few days, you can really think about whether it’s the ring of your dreams, and then formulate a gentle plan for telling him so.
Forget to insure your ring. If you’re following our earlier advice, then the ring is already on your finger (and staying there). It follows, then, that you must get the ring insured immediately. This is one task you really don’t want to procrastinate on. Losing your ring is bad enough, but losing it before it’s insured? That’s only-in-the-movies bad.
Bite your nails. For the next month or two, everyone is going to want to see your hands – particularly your ring finger. No matter how nervous you are thinking about the big day (or whatever else is on your mind), try not to take it out on your fingers! You want to look smooth and polished when you show off the ring. Now’s a great time for a manicure.